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YOU'RE NOT SURE IF YOUR HEART IS YOUR ALLY OR FOE. It's keeping you alive, beating steadily inside your chest while holding the power to kill you. As does Lawliet. Once not too long ago, he was reason you were still alive. And you had been too oblivious to realise that he was the very thing killing you.
Sighing, you lean back against the bench.
You're tired.
You always were.
You're drowning again.
You always were.
Smile.
Please.
Don't be lonely.
Run, free yourself from the chains.
Don't run to him.
He won't open his arms for you.
It's okay.
Everything is okay.
'Excuse me?'
Looking up, you come face to face with a boy around your age.
'Can I help you?' you ask, voice frail.
'Are you ok?'
Are you?
Answer honestly.
Be honest with yourself.
Are you ok?
'I'm fine,' you answer.
You lied.
'You don't seem fine,' he says with a light chuckle.
You're crying in public and your lies aren't convincing anyone, they never did.
'Just leave me be,' you mutter.
'I can't do that,' he says. 'What gentleman leaves a person crying on their own?'
'Those with common sense,' you retort.
'Then. . .' he trails off. 'I suppose I am a fool.'
He takes a seat beside you, a silence engulfing you two, devouring the awkwardness that once was. Why is there a feeling of comfort when you're sitting beside him?
'My name's Light. . . what's yours?'
You introduce yourself, not thinking twice about revealing your alias to him.
'Why were you sitting here?' he asks. 'Crying, all alone?'
And so you explain to him, voice breaking every other second, hiccups causing a ripple through your heart, squeezing it in a painful way. It hurts to think about it. It hurts to think about him, to pretend to be okay, to pretend that you aren't tired of not feeling loved, to pretend that you're ready to wait for him. You aren't. You have been waiting for a long time.
Light's hands meet your cheeks, forcing you to look into his eyes.
'I got you,' he says. 'I'm here.'
He's a stranger, you tell yourself. But you can't stop yourself. You need this comfort, you need someone to hold you.
If true love was being ready to wait an eternity for your partner then you and Lawliet weren't meant to be.
The universe held an image of a perfect world.
You and Lawliet weren't together in it.
And that pains you.
While it did hurt you, you couldn't remove the feeling of comfort when you were with him.
Of curse, he did not treat you the way you wanted to and you had verbally spoken to him about it but despite it hurting you, you couldn't let go.
Letting go meant taking a step outside of your comfort zone.
Were you ready for that?
To let go of the chains that kept you safely intact by his side?
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