The Red Horizon

Chapter 6

Cannons blazed and rifles fired off into the night but Alice heard none of it.

She returned to her father's lodgings in somewhat of a daze to find that Cora wasn't there. In truth, she was relieved. She didn't know how she would have explained her red-rimmed eyes and discheveled appearance to her sister. Inexplicably drawn to the mirror she sat down at the wooden dresser and lifted the hand-held oval to look at herself, her hands unsteady as she did so. As her reflection came into focus, she gasped.

She looked... loved. The choice of word seemed preposterous, but it was the only one that came to mind and stuck. Her hair, a golden halo, hung loosely around her face, gently tangled. Her usually pale cheeks were a pretty rose pink, a healthy glimmer radiating from her skin. Her eyes were bright, the colour more like hazel than its familiar brown. Lastly, her lips looked lush and full, which was saying something since they were already naturally plump.

This is madness, she told herself, slamming the mirror down with more force than necessary. She cringed when the glass made contact with the dresser, thankfully remaining in tact.

She'd been expecting to see someone ugly, her face altered in an adverse way, reinforcing the feeling of shame that she felt at her lewd conduct. Except she didn't look ugly and she wasn't altered in a negative way. In fact, as confounding as it was, it seemed as though the complete opposite was true. She fairly glowed.

Perplexed, she moved towards the bed, shrugging out of her borrowed dress and into a clean nightgown that Mrs McCaan must have left out for her. Climbing on top of the covers, she curled onto her side, her hands resting beneath her cheek.

My first kiss.

In all her romantic imaginings, and there had been many, nothing had ever come close to the splendour of the actual experience. It had been wonderful, everything she'd ever imagined and more. Closing her eyes she was transported; she could feel Uncas's hands in her hair, holding her happily enslaved as his mouth breathed life into hers.

"Urgh!" she muttered, punching her pillow.

It was impossible. He was a young Indian man, she an English rose. The very idea of the two of them together was unheard of, a scandal her family would never recover from. Her father would never allow such a thing and she didn't know if she'd ever go directly against his express wishes. And even if by some miracle he did permit it, Uncas could not return to England with them. That was not his place. She couldn't imagine him there, the free-spirited mountain man that he was amidst all the formality and restrictive behaviour of London society. He'd be ridiculed, a thing everyone would gawk at, mock and belittle. In truth, he'd be miserable and it would break her heart to see him so.

No, he belonged here, in the wild unpredictability of the frontier, where he forged his life with the rewards reaped from using only his two hands. And what of her? Where did she belong? Certainly not in this wilderness, where hardship and struggle was the only way of life. But if she was entirely honest with herself, she didn't feel like she completely belonged in England anymore either. The life she'd led before now seemed worthless, without true meaning. Her friends would never understand the growing desire she felt to be useful, to live a life filled with meaning and purpose.

It was all so very confusing.

What she was sure of though, was the fact that Cora would most likely stay with Nathaniel. Her sister hadn't said anything, but Alice was certain. Cora didn't love in half measures. If she wanted something, she'd have it, no matter the consequences. It should have been shocking, but it wasn't really, just the kind of thing that her independent sister would do without any regrets. Alice envied that - her sibling's ability to know her own mind so clearly, without any reservations.