“You were a fragment in my life I wouldn’t dare to bargain.”
I stood by the window as I remember those moments I was falling in love with my first love during my youthful years. I am happily married now with my husband and we already have four kids but there are still times I keep on thinking of my then bf. Back then, both of us needed to get lost in order to find ourselves. Because how could you love someone fully when you can’t give it to yourself. We became toxic. We fought oftentimes. We keep on blaming each other and no one ever dared to admit who was wrong. There were trust issues. Frustrations arouse and it covered all the exultant moments we had. We keep on causing each other storms. And so, we agreed to finally let go. We decided to let go those fucking four years together. It was hard at first but what’s the point of prolonging something that has somehow become toxic. Our love was magical after all. It just didn’t work out the way I wanted it; the way he wanted it; the way we wanted it to be. We became each other’s lesson. I believe our breakup was the most mature decision we ever made. Now, we’re both living contented keeping the promises we couldn’t do for each other back then with our current relationships. This is not nostalgia, I believe. Sometimes we just need to reflect on the good things in our life’s journey and a part of it is thinking about those people who mean so much to us at some point in our lives.
