never let me go

empty

Lord Huron – The Night We Met

"I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you."

Harry rose briefly into consciousness. He was on the ground, and a voice that sounded like Hermione was calling his name. Then everything faded back to darkness.

When he woke properly, he was in a bed. He slowly opened his eyes, a sharp pain splitting his skull, and found that he was in the all too familiar infirmary. He tried to push himself into a sitting position, and heard footsteps rushing towards him.

"Harry, you're awake!" Hermione appeared beside him, helping him get upright. Ron came around the other side of the bed, followed by Neville.

"What happened?" he croaked.

"We found you on the ground outside," said Ron. "Your wand was on the other side of the yard and it looked like someone had knocked you out."

"And Harry..." Hermione said nervously. "Draco's gone."

"Malfoy?"

Hermione's brow creased, and she glanced up at Ron and Neville. "Some other Slytherins are missing too," Neville added.

"We don't know if it's connected, though," she went on. "We were hoping you might be able to clear up some of the details."

"I..." Harry racked his brains, trying to understand what had happened, but he came up blank. "I don't remember."

"You must've had more of that firewhiskey than we thought, mate," said Ron with a weak attempt at a grin. Hermione only looked concerned, and she put her hand to Harry's forehead. "Stop mothering him, Hermione, he'll be fine."

After a few more questions that Harry didn't have any answers to, they left him to rest and recuperate. But Harry could only lie there trying to think back on what happened. Why couldn't he remember anything? Had he even been attacked, or had he truly just drunk too much and passed out? He could barely even remember going out, and the further back he thought the more he realised there seemed to be gaps missing.

Something was very wrong. And it had something to do with Malfoy – every time he thought of him he felt a strong, almost overwhelming surge of emotion, but he couldn't understand why. He didn't think he'd seen much of Malfoy at all this year, and now he was apparently missing. Was he up to something? Harry had defended him at the Trials after the war and thought that Malfoy had changed, but if he was involved in something...

He had been a Death Eater after all.

Harry decided that he needed answers. He knew Malfoy had something to do with this, and Hermione had acted strange when he was brought up so she must know more than she was letting on.

Before Madam Promfrey could notice, he quickly got up, changed into the fresh set of clothes that was on the bedside table and left the infirmary.

He found Hermione in the eighth year common room, a pile of books in front of her.

"We need to talk."

"Yes, I think we do," she said, closing the heavy tome she had been peering at.

The rest of the small common room was empty, so Harry sat down at her table by the window.

"Harry, what do you remember?" Hermione asked.

"Not much. Like at all. It's like there's these huge time gaps and I think it's got something to do with Malfoy." Hermione flinched at the name, so small he almost missed it. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Harry... I think Draco might've taken your memories."

"I knew it," Harry said, starting to get revved up. "Was he up to something? Did he take them so I wouldn't stop him from doing whatever he was doing?"

"No, Harry, you've got it all wrong." Hermione's face was pained, and she put a hand on his arm. "He was your friend."

Harry was stunned into silence. He sat back in his chair, wanting to say she was being ridiculous, but her face was so open and sincere that Harry didn't think she could possibly be lying.

"What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"At the beginning of the term you said you wanted to start over with him, and it took a little while to get through to him, but he slowly came around. You invited him to join us at meals and nights out, and he became friends with us too. But the two of you... there were some rough patches, from what I could tell, but most of the time you were inseparable."

"That... that doesn't make any sense, Hermione."

"But it's the truth, Harry. You know it is, you can feel it."

"I don't know what I feel."

Hermione's eyes softened. "Memories can be erased, Harry, but emotions are much more difficult."

Harry had the feeling there was something else she was trying to tell him, but there were too many thoughts racing around his head. His chest was aching, like there was something missing.

He didn't know what else to say, so he got up and headed for the door, desperate for some fresh air. Hermione called out his name, but he ignored it. He wound through corridors and stairwells, until eventually he reached the top of the Astronomy Tower. He didn't know why, but it was like he had been drawn there.

None of it made sense. He only wanted the hollow feeling in his chest to go away.