never let me go

open chasm

G Flip – Lover

"I just wanna be your lover

I know that we ain't friends

Yeah, I tried to love another

It never made much sense."

Harry became a little concerned when he couldn't find Draco after checking all their usual study spots. He headed to the dormitories, thinking maybe he had just gone back to his room. There was no response however when he knocked on the door. Then he remembered something Draco had said weeks ago about going up the Astronomy Tower when he had nightmares.

He half walked, half ran up the stairs when he reached he tower, and felt a wave of relief when he saw Draco sitting on the edge. "There you are," he puffed, a little out of breath.

Draco didn't turn around, so Harry went and sat down next to him. He gave Draco a once over to see if he looked okay, but his face was blank, devoid of any emotions. Harry pressed his mouth into a tight line as he stared out at the lake.

He knew that sometimes Draco just needed to sit in silence, and that talking would only make things worse. He had gotten pretty good at reading Draco's moods and anticipating his needs, so he figured all he needed right now was company. The two of them sat in silence for a long time.

The next morning, Draco didn't show up for breakfast. Harry tried not to think too much of it, thinking that maybe he just needed some space. But over the next few days during their classes, study sessions and the few meals that Draco came to, Harry noticed that he was definitely being more distant. All Harry wanted to do was connect with him, get through to him, but he didn't know how.

It was at dinner one night when Draco didn't show again that he voiced his concerns to Ron and Hermione.

"I also thought that he seems a bit withdrawn," Hermione said.

"Yeah, he was fine a week ago," said Ron. "Did something happen? Did you do something?"

"Ron, I'm sure he didn't do anything to upset Draco."

Harry was about to agree, but he thought back on the last time Draco had opened up to him right after the panic attack. He had definitely felt a connection then, even more than just a connection... but then he had pulled away. Draco had made himself vulnerable, and then Harry had pulled away. Curse him, it was his own fault.

"I've gotta go." Harry stood up abruptly and headed out of the Great Hall, his mind churning with thoughts.

He cared about Draco. He really, truly did. And over the last month he had let himself grow closer to him, and now there was a new depth to his feelings, and he didn't know what to do about it. Should he tell Draco? Try to explain? Or would it only make things worse and push him away further? Perhaps he had already ruined any chance they might have had.

He was still undecided about whether to find Draco or not when he found himself at the bottom of the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. He took a deep breath. If Draco happened to be up to there, he would tell him, and he if he wasn't then he would leave it for now and think on it some more.

Heart racing in his chest, he began the ascent. What exactly would he say? He didn't even know exactly what is was that he was feeling, let alone how to express it. A million different scenarios bounced around in his head as he bounded up the steps, desperate to reach the top, to just see his face.

But when he finally burst onto the top of the tower, it was empty. He was alone.