Unstable And Yours

Dear Diary, Entry 2

Dear Diary,

IIf I were in a movie, I'd probably be the most unliked character ever! The reason I say that is because, to most people, I'm a selfish, inconsiderate, uptight, rich, a spoiled bitch. And, to some extent, most of it is true. My mom made sure I got everything I wanted, and rejection was never in my vocabulary. But you can't blame me for being how I was at 16.

Now that I think about it, that's probably why I would hang out with Kayla and Kelly. It's because I didn't have to worry about people not liking me; I felt like I had the upper hand. My mindset at the time was that I could push someone down the stairs and wouldn't feel anything about it. I never cared about how people felt about me; I just didn't care about them in general. This might seem cheesy, but my whole perspective on life changed once I met Giovanni.

He made me feel insecure. When I met him, he told me my personality was shit and that no one would ever love a girl like me. Of course, I cussed him out, but I literally went up to my room and cried. I've been told that by a lot of people, but hearing it from him made me feel sick inside. From the moment I saw him, I knew he was the guy I was meant to be with in the future. At the time, I had just turned 15, and he was 19. I didn't try anything because I didn't want him to catch a case, but even with that being so, he looked at me with so much disgust. Every time I would come over to Mrs. Katherine's house, it was like I sucked all the happiness out of him. I knew I was an asshole, but damn!

I don't know how long it took but it was when I had turn 16 when Giovanni and I started forming a connection. He's the reason I even got my driver's license. But the bad thing about it was that the more time we spent together the more emotionally attached I got to him. I wanted him and I didn't care how illegal it was I wanted to be with him in all ways and he knew that. In a large part of me knew he felt the same way.

So he left....

The day he left, he had gotten into an argument with Mrs. Katherine, and I remember I was just standing outside her house, just listening. I still remember what he told me before he left. I was completely shattered, but I knew it had to happen.

The only good thing about that situation was that I completely changed as a person. I realized that I wanted to be liked somewhat by people; it was no fun being the most hated person in school. I completely humbled myself out. I stayed friends with Kelly and Kayla, and I also started dating Jackson because he reminded me of Giovanni. But I'm not writing about what happened between me and them because I already did.

Today's diary entry was written because Giovanni is coming home tomorrow. And I've been waiting for a long time to see him again. It's been about to be two whole years since I've seen him and once I'm of age and I'm claiming what's mine. And I will literally kill any bitch who tries to get in my way.

Sincerely,

Finneas

P.S me being a bitch hasn't changed. But a lot has!!

Unedited.