Stay Strong: The Diaries of a Cutter. (On Hold!)

~Keely~

~Keely~

New York, the city that never sleeps. Oh Boy do I take that saying to heart. Quit literally I take that saying to heart, I’m usually working out during the day and going to school and being a normal teenager but I’m the furthest from normal. I’m fifteen right now and I was diagnosed with depression when I was twelve. Not long after my dad left. As a child I was always a bit chubby in the last couple years of elementary school. But from Kindergarten throughout third grade I was always one of the skinnier girls, I was always smaller than the rest of the kids.

But when my dad left I thought it was because I put on a couple extra pounds due to puberty. So since then I’ve binged and purged and starved myself. And I started cutting because I was angry that he was such a selfish bastard, leaving my mom alone to raise three kids.

When I turned fourteen I started throwing up which has caused me to lose one of my back teeth. I’m glad I’m nothing like my older brother; he got addicted to Crystal Meth. As soon as my mom found out she threw him into rehab. I’m going to Ocean View Treatment Facility because my mom found out and she said nothing was my fault. I saw what I was doing to myself then. I wanted to get help but there was no way I could get help because we didn’t have the money to send me to rehab. But now we do. She’s sending me there because I started fainting and the Doctors said I was damn near the starvation point. I want help and now we have the money to send me to get help.

My name is Keely Ryan, I’m fifteen. I live in Manhattan, New York. I’ve anorexic and I have a cutting problem.