splendor 》poetry

𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕦𝕞

Look, I can't really give an explanation.
I seem to be split into two different conversations,
With myself, my mentality, my peace, and state of mind.
Should I take the same road again or leave everything we had behind?

Part of me thinks you will change.
Part of me is feeling really strange.
Maybe I was getting happy before you came back.
Maybe I was finally getting on the right track.

You see, it ain't even been a day and you already fucked up again.
Getting all mad at me and getting all upset and causing me even more chagrin.
Maybe I don't want to let you in.
With walls this thick, there are no starts, only ends.

I just want to be alone right now.
I don't wanna know when where why or how.
I just want to blink and it'll all be gone.
The pain, hurt, and the facts that I will never move on.

Maybe I saw a glimmer of hope in my future after you left.
It was only a week but it happened as fast as an automobile theft.
I don't want to go into details of just how bad you fucked me up.
Fucked me up and over and out and then I felt I could never measure up.

Twenty lines in and I already wanna dip, baby, I'm a woman on the run.
Running from you and everything you do and the lies and the truth and then some.
If I said no I know you'd know it's your fault and not mine.
But you're always the victim and I've got post partum; I birthed a death that was not mine.