Stubborn Love

Trial of life

Sia studied the unusually enormous crowd of students in the lecture hall. It was a simple audition for a solo singing competition as part of the three-day college fest. Though she had been a member of the music club since the first year, she never took part in any competitions. Her timid self-confidence and humongous stage fear took care of it. But she partook as an audience member every year without fail.

College students, other than the contestants, hardly turned up for singing competitions, let alone an audition. The solo singers, sitars, harmoniums, ektaras, tablas were the outcast. Acoustic and electronic guitars, drums, keyboards, rock bands made up the celebrated part of the club. This bridge in perception informally divided the club into traditional and modern pursuers of music.

She often advocated the superiority of Indian art forms. Claimed, they deserved much more recognition. Albeit her bias heart, she still could see the absurdity of the present situation. So many students couldn't be keen to watch amateur singers fall flat on their face!

She had a sinking feeling in her stomach. This can't be any good...

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Today was a strange day. One by one, students performed on stage. Her heartbeat took upon itself to turn her deaf. Her turn was coming...

The audience remained appreciative and sincerely applauded at the right times. Everyone even listened to the first-year boy sing a folk song in silence! 

The silence was chillingly treacherous. It made the noises inside her even scarier. 

Other than her gut, however, no one else seemed to complain. 

While the present senior members reveled in the unexpected glory, Sia suffered. She tried hard to quell the frightening voice inside, warning her that the club's unexpected fortune was at the cost of her own impending doom.

Sia adjusted her head to spot any suspicious signal. Signal for her to flee the hell out of there. But there was none.

She looked down to calm her nerves when a soft but firm hand wrapped around hers. If not for the warmth of the comforter's palm, she would have never realized she was freezing.

Silvi smiled at her and rubbed her stiff hands, nudging her to relax. 

Sia smiled back at her roommate, taking deep calming breaths at the unsaid encouragement. She sighed at her agitated self. She had always been a simple and trusting girl. She had never been this - this nervous, suspecting shell of a person, assuming the worst of possibilities.

But her fears weren't unfounded. The last one month justified every ounce of her anxiousness.

Sia fumed, recalling the events that had her crying in anger and regrets in the privacy of her hostel bathroom. In privacy, it had to be. Because she wasn't the one to show her wounds, even to the closest of her friends.

'My brave daughter' is what her father used to call her from childhood and she had tried with every cell of her body to live up to the expectation. She never cried. At least not in public. And this was the only reason she could still walk around with a smidgen dignity in her armour around college these days.

All because of that one conceited bast**d.

This is better, Sia told herself. Keep up with the anger and maybe she could go through the audition without crumbling to her feet with so much tension built up in her.

****************

'Stop trembling like a sacrificial lamb. At worst, you will faint in the middle of your audition.' Silvi said with smirk.