Painful Cries at Night (Poems)

Every

Every tear I cry,

Every time I lie,

Makes me sick

An illusion or maybe a trick?

You can clearly see that I’m not okay

Sometimes I feel like a stray

It makes me want to disappear

You can’t even see my expression of fear

You can’t see my discomfort around others

You just have to wait and discover

So don’t tell me,

That you know me,

Better than I know who I am

Truth be told that I do this as a sham

Truth be told that I hide behind a mask

Truth be told that my happy endings never lasts

You say,

You replay,

That you know all my priceless expressions

That you have a hold of my priceless possessions

I say,

I may,

That you only know the protected me

Please,

Just let me be

I keep it to myself and I don’t like to share it

Just hide the truth and burn it

Every time,

Every crime,

I hide my tears and I don’t falter

I don’t need to cry on a shoulder

Every time I side,

Every time I hide,

In fear, I don’t break

But the feeling is like an earthquake

I let the damage be done

I hide my courage behind the sun

I let the dam stay strong filled with my tears,

Letting it fill over the years

Can’t breathe is my one way ticket to heaven

No more depression

Hell is where I live at the moment

I get beaten from my opponent

Everything I do is whipped into proportion

Everything has a warning saying ‘caution’

Fitting in is a lot harder than being different

No one here is deliberate

Being noticed for the good is even hard

Being the golden is a story that’s perfect like a shard

Being notice for the bad is a whole new story

You have to find the right one to get the glory

Sulking… doesn’t give me power

Thinking… only makes me cry even harder

Existing… doesn’t give me life

Moving… doesn’t do any good it just bring back strife

Holding… tight is not as easy as it seems

Talking… sometimes hide what the words really mean

Writing a journal brings back more tears

Erasing the memory to make it clear

The amount I cry I could be mistaken as a waterfall

Don’t care as I stand there tall

Eyes are watering like it’s the end of the world

Secrets waiting to be unfurled

Mix emotions pooling into a dump

A road to ride with rigid bumps

My feelings doesn’t even total or complete

Better to put on a show than to repeat

Better to cry than be forgotten

Plant a flower and wait for it to blossom

Standing at attention ready for the fight

Standing at attention ready to see the light

The fight that always comes my way

The light that comes on the right day

Getting it over and done with to send me on my away

The fight when I shrink into nothing

Goodbye, my time is coming

Every time I cry

Every time I’m shy

Every time I lie

Every time I sigh

Every time I hide

Every time I side

Every time I collide

Every time I decide

Every time I feel isolated

Every time I feel neglected

Every time I’m mistreated

I’ve always been defeated

Every time…