Secret || Chanlix

Chapter three.

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My body trembled as I heard heavy footsteps enter the bathroom, Chan's voice registering in my mind before his words did.

He had a key. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

All of a sudden, I couldn't breathe - my heart was thundering against my rib cage and my hands tangled in my wet hair, tugging and clawing in a frantic attempt to ground myself before I did something stupid. I just needed to breathe, get out of my head and tell Chan to get the fuck out. Simple.

Before I could even choke out a word, Chan spoke up from the other side of the curtain - too close to the curtain, fuck fuck fuck.

"Jisung tried to help me and Minho cook dinner but he accidentally cut his finger, it's bleeding really bad and the band-aids are in here. I know you hate people coming in, but it's just me and-" his voice abruptly cut off like a switch the second my heavy, laboured breathing reached his ears.

After a few seconds, he spoke up again. "Felix, there's a curtain, I can't see anything and I'm not going to even try to look. I'm going to leave as soon as possible, please, please calm down. I can hear you hyperventilating." I know he was trying to reassure me, but his words only made me shake worse. His panicking made me panic worse.

"J-just get the stuff quickly, please." My voice wavered pathetically as I tried to calm myself down, desperately trying to reassure myself that Chan wouldn't look, that he wouldn't find out. It would be fine. He was just grabbing something.

As Chan rummaged through the cabinets, I slowly steadied my breathing and, although I was still shaking like a leaf, I knew I could trust Chan to respect my privacy. It was Chan, why was I worried in the first place? He would never do something like that.

Or maybe he would, if he knew the truth about why I was so shy...

Suddenly, another pair of footsteps thudded onto the bathroom tiles, their owner dramatically sobbing and whining. "Lix, I got a boo-boo!"

My composure crumbled.

Tears of panic dripped down my face along with the scalding hot water from the shower as I shoved my fist over my mouth and bit as hard as I could, curling into a ball on the floor of the shower to hide as much of my petite body as I could.

"Jisung! Get out!" I faintly heard Chan yell, but there was a ringing in my ears like hundreds of flies buzzing in my brain that made it difficult to hear.

"But hyung, I'm so very very injured! I need my twinsie to kiss-" I cut Jisung off, nails digging into my palms as my voice wavered.

"P-please get out."

Jisung's light footsteps immediately stumble out of the bathroom, but not Chan's.

"Felix," Chan mumbled through the shower curtain in english, "I don't want to leave you alone when you're like this..."

"Please, hyung..."

I heard him sigh, but then his footsteps sounded and eventually faded away along with the sound of the door closing.

Exhaling in pure relief, I cautiously stood up on trembling legs and turned off the water. My body sagged against the door as I slipped past the shower curtain and turned the door's lock.

I sat there for only a few minutes, huddled in a towel and trying to calm myself down, before I hurriedly put my clothes back on; including the bandage around my torso. Normally, I wouldn't wear it at night since I just wear baggy hoodies, but I needed the familiar pressure, the pain that reassured me no one could see or feel my revolting chest.

Then, taking a breath, I rushed out the of the bathroom, only to slam directly into Chan's chest. "Felix! Oh my god, I was so worried. Are you okay?" He grabbed my narrow, skinny shoulders and inspected my face. If he noticed how puffy my eyes were, he didn't say anything about it.

"Yeah, sorry. I don't know what happened there." I laughed awkwardly, trying to make my lie sound believable as my eyes darted around the hallway to look at anything but his scrutinising gaze.

After a moment of staring at me suspiciously, he just pulled me into his chest with a long sigh. I blushed right red and let out a relieved exhale that I still had the bandage wrapped around my chest as I stuffed my face into his neck and let everything but his cinnamon scent melt away.

Chan's hugs always made me feel safe. They made me feel like nothing could hurt me while I was tangled in his arms, hidden from the world and unable to feel its judgemental glares.

After a while, he spoke up again. "Jisung's worried about you too, he thinks you hate him."

I pulled away from Chan with wide eyes, quickly waddling down the hallway and peaking out into the living room.

Sure enough, Jisung was there, cuddled into Minho's chest with a band aid wrapped around his injured finger. He was pouting, obviously upset as he stared intently at the specks of red seeping through the thin band aid.

The two glanced up as I gulped accidentally loudly, both their faces creased with worry and Jisung's with guilt.

I hesitantly stepped out from behind the wall I was hiding behind, shuffling forwards a few steps and looking down at my feet. "I'm sorry, Sungie..."

"No, that's not how this works. I'm sorry, you dummy."

Tilting my head up to look at him with an offended expression, I exaggerated a scoff. "Clearly I'm not the dummy if you think that's how this whole thing works."

Jisung puffed up his chest as he got to his feet, strutting towards me with a dramatic eyebrow lift. "Are you saying I'm the dummy?"

"If the shoe fits."

By now, we were both staring each other down, glaring and standing on our tippy-toes to make ourselves look more intimidating until we heard Minho sigh in parental disappointment from the couch.

Obviously, we both broke out into laughter and Jisung yanked me into a hug, all soft and warm and... sweaty. Yuck.

"Ew, I forgot I'm the only one that has showered."

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A/N This really isn't proofread properly, so it's probably shit, sorry guys