A Dance of Life

27

"What's the purpose of a fast?" I ask Nicole as we sit down for lunch on Saturday. It became exhausting trying to stay upset with her for what she said, so I let it go.

It also forced me to face certain truths, I admit to myself.

"I don't think you should be fasting, dear; both you and your baby need every nutrient it can get," she says, picking at her pasta.

She sighs and places the fork down, dropping her head into her palms. I know what's upsetting her but because I don't want to cause an argument, I don't address it.

"Oh, right. Is it weird if I say I didn't think of that?" I say instead.

"I don't know, dear. But food isn't the only thing you can fast from if you really want to do it."

"I want to know the function first... so I can do it right. Is there a right and wrong way to do it?"

"We fast to humble ourselves before God. To show Him that we're willing to give up something important for something more important; Him," she informs me with a slight smile, "Most fasts are food fasts because that's something a human being needs the most in this life, but you can give up the next most significant thing in your life if you can't do a food fast."

I nod my head earnestly, taking mental notes but she isn't done talking.

"And yes, there's a wrong way to do it. Fasting is meant to bring you closer to God but if you just replace the time with frivolous activities, well then you're wasting your own time and energy," she says in conclusion.

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," I tell her. "So I can fast from Netflix or something like that?"

She laughs softly, "Of course, but is that something you think you can't go without?"

"Uh, no?" I reply, my face turning pink. "I have to figure that out cause I personally think I can go without anything but the one thing I'm already going without... if that makes sense."

"It doesn't but I understand," she chuckles as she shakes her head, "So what's this one thing?"

"Ballet. I never thought I could go without ballet for so long," I say with a sigh. "Some people escape into books, some escape to the bottle of liquor. Ballet was my escape. When I was dancing... all my troubles became so small and unimportant. But the amazing thing was that even after I had finished a routine I still had this sense of peace and had better clarity."

"So you had to stop because of health reasons?"

"I guess you could say that. I was underweight and needed to stock up because," I pause and look at my protruding belly, about the size of half a basketball, and give it a gentle rub. "Well, because of this."

"How far along are you?"

"Uh, fourteen weeks today actually," I tell her, scratching my head fretfully.

"Annelise, do you know what that means?" She says in an excited voice.

"No...?"

"Oh, dear, you've been so caught up with things here that you didn't realize that you're in your second trimester?"

I stare at her with blinking wide eyes, unsure how I'm supposed to respond.

"You're going to be able to find out the gender and you'll feel him or her moving in the coming weeks." She's beaming at me and I can't help but smile back with a giggle, remembering the woman I met at Macy's and how elated she had felt.

"Wow," I say, not able to form any other words.

"Wow, indeed, darling."

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