A Dance of Life

26

After a week of a cranky Rachel, an adorable Joshua, and an exhausted Richard, Jocelyn is finally allowed to come home. Nicole and I try to convince Richard that we should have a little 'welcome home' celebration, but he shuts us down.

"She's going to be in a wheelchair; I think it would only make her more depressed if there's all this music and celebration around and she can't join in," he says in an exasperated tone.

"Maybe," Nicole admits. "Or maybe it would brighten her mood when she sees how much we missed her."

"No, mom," he grunts out, "I don't want to hear any more about this. And please, for the love of God, don't think of doing it anyways cause that would just annoy me further."

He drops his plate in the sink and storms out of the kitchen. I put my hand on Nicole's back and rub it in a reassuring way. "He's just tired from going to the hospital every day and still having to help take care of the kids."

"It's not an excuse," she snaps and I can see the hurt in her eyes. "I'm his mother and he shouldn't speak to me that way. How would he feel if Rachel spoke to him in such a manner?"

I bob my head to let her know I understand and she lets out a huff. I smile and nudge her shoulder. "Don't let that spoil your mood though, or Joshua might pick up on it."

She rolls her eyes but lets out a small chuckle. "Unfortunately you're right."

We've noticed that Joshua has an uncanny ability to pick up on the mood of whoever is around him, and he responds in the same manner. A few days ago, I was feeling homesick and he would cry any time I picked him up. Once my mood lightened, I noticed that his did as well. It was the craziest thing ever.

"I just had a thought, dear," Nicole announces. "How is Jocelyn going to feel about this? If she's down in the dumps all the time, Joshua's going to be miserable. It'll be a terrible cycle because she'll feel terrible that he cries anytime he's in her arms and he'll feel terrible that she is."

"Maybe we can warn her?" I suggest. "Or maybe we can find some research on how a mother's mood affects their baby so she'll see the reasoning."

"Hmm, I hope so. We can only try, I guess."

We're interrupted by Joshua crying through the baby monitor, and I smile at the prospect of feeding and changing him.

Nicole examines my face and shakes her head, "I think you should attend to him this time, dear; your mood seems more uplifted than mine."

I try to contain my smile and I shrug. "I'm just having so much fun. Don't get me wrong. It's hard work and the crying can bring on a headache, but watching his face when he's feeding or sleeping and seeing the innocence? It's marvelous to me."

"No need to explain it to me. I completely understand. Now go before Rachel wakes up and joins in the chorus."

I hurry up the stairs and enter the nursery opposite Rachel's bedroom. Thanks to technology, Jocelyn and Richard knew they were having a boy and decorated accordingly. Like the rest of the house, it's lavish but not overdone. The crib is in the corner closest to the door with a changing table adjacent to it. His feeding space is at the opposite end of the room. It has a rocking chair similar to Rachel's and a fridge for milk storage. Storks and clouds are splattered across the sky blue painted wall.

I smile at him as I pick him up, raising him slightly to check if his diaper is full. Finding no issue, I carry him over to the chair and he halts his cry almost immediately. I cradle him and raise a bottle to his mouth. He latches on and instantly begins sucking.

This is so calming. I swear I could do this every day.

As he suckles and I rock the chair, I think back on the past week and how much peace I've felt.