"Remember me? I'm that girl you left all alone trapped my an alcoholic mom and abusive step dad" I cried out to my brothers.
Gabriela Cattaneo has it all: beauty, brains and brilliance. Beneath the surface, Gabriela is a broken girl. Separated from...
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Ripping off the bandage is never easy, especially if the bandage is filthy and dirty. The bandage is just a distraction from the rotting wound beneath . That's why talking about feelings are the worst, especially if you don't know how to express it.
I see Alessandro's dark blue eyes watching my movements, I wouldn't be surprised if he knew what I was thinking. He has the type of eyes that are just so piercing, you cannot look away.
'I don't know what you want me to say' I mumble, looking at my hands. We've been sitting here for an 30 minutes, an awkward silence between us. I don't think siblings are meant to behave like this, but then again, we are not normal siblings are we?
'Let's start at the beginning, take your time.' Alessandro instructs me, but I don't know where to begin. I've been fucked up since birth.
So I decide to just jump into the deep end, 'Mom had a boyfriend, his name was Ian. He started off as just her dealer but then I guess they realised they loved each other'
I couldn't help it, a snort of laughter came out of my mouth. A reflective smile crosses my face just like a flash like lightening , so beautiful but dangerous.
He turns his head, looking mildly confused yet annoyed 'What's funny Gabs?'
Still smiling, I shake my head 'Love. Mom didn't love anyone.'
He doesn't look at me with pity, Alessandro doesn't do pity. But there's a flicker of acknowledgement because its true. Mom didn't love any of us, we were just reminders of her marriage. Of her pain. a
I decide to carry on before he thinks I'm already more messed up, 'She was ok for a bit, after we left. I mean, she was still off her head but she was happier with out dad. But then she got pregnant.'
Mom was pregnant. I'd nearly forgotten that. The needles lying next to her pregnancy stick, the multivitamins taken with the vodka and the bruised bump.
That baby was wanted, and that was the problem. It was wanted because it was with Ian, not dad. She could look at it without seeing the blue eyes all of us inherited from dad.
That's got his attention, he can barley keep his anger stiffled. Thats how I know he didn't know, he's always so calm because hes 5 steps in front of everyone all the time. You try to mess with Alessandro, and you'll loose.
'Valentina was pregnant?' he composes himself, fiddling with the signet on his finger.
'SÍ. Ian's baby. But she couldn't even stay clean, so she lost it.'
And thats why it got so much worse, I want to add. I want to tell him I've never felt more sorry for her in that moment, lying on the floor trying to collect the blood from leaking out of her. Crying out for an ambulance, but what could they do? Tell her that if she could stay clean for just 9 months she wouldn't be in this position?
