A Love Like No Other

Chapter twelve

Natasha POV:

When the doctor's mouth started moving, I felt my heartbeat getting stronger and faster.

"Mr Rogers just got out of the operating room. The operation went well, so he will be fine. He actually got lucky. If the knife had been pressed an inch further right, I don't think the outcome would have been the same to be honest." he told us, before adding "He's going to need some time to rest but you'll soon be able to go see him"

I felt like a huge burden had just been lifted off my heart and I started slightly crying again but only this time, those few tears were tears of happiness.

About twenty minutes later, they allowed us to see him. He was still asleep though.

We just stayed there in his room, looking at him while he was just lying, eyes closed, on the hospital bed.

Since we were all still pretty exhausted from the mission earlier because of all the fighting it involved, after some time they agreed that it was best to leave, get some rest and come back tomorrow morning.

However, I decided to stay and spend the night at the hospital.
Clint tried to talk me out of it but failed. I just couldn't bring myself to leave Steve.

When they left, I took one of the chairs in the room and put it next to Steve's hospital bed.

I put my hand in his and my head on the edge of the bed, next to his chest. Soon enough, I felt my eyes close slowly and fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning with the feeling of the grip on my hand tightening.
I opened my eyes, lifted my head from the bed and turned my face towards my hand and saw that Steve's hand was indeed holding mine tighter.

I turned around to face Steve and saw him looking at me, with a small smile on his face.

"Hey there" he said in a whisper.
"You're awake..." I whispered too, releasing a sigh I didn't know I had been holding.

Steve just nodded and I felt my hand move as he intertwined our fingers.

I felt my lips shaping into a small smile as I tightened my grip on his hand too.

"You scared the hell out of me! I thought I had lost you" I told him, shaking my head slowly.
"I'm sorry, but I'm okay now. And I'm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon. You're stuck with me."
"Fortunately for you, I wouldn't want it any other way"

A comfortable silence fell upon us. We just kept staring into each other's eyes, not saying a word for a while, enjoying the well-being that the company of one another brought us.

Steve finally broke the silence, though not taking his eyes away from mine and said
"How long have I been sleeping?"
"About 12 hours I think"
"Hmm" he said with a nod and paused, before adding,
"What did the doctor say?"

I sighed.

"He said that you got lucky. The blade ended up very close to you heart. An inch further right and..."

I didn't finish my sentence. I couldn't bring myself to.
Just the thought of what could have happened made my body tremble in fear and pain.

It appeared Steve noticed, as I felt a pull on my arm, bringing me closer to him.

"Hey, it's over okay? I'm right here"
"Someone has got to make sure that you get your ass kicked during training every morning, right?" he added, with a smirk.

I chuckled and playfully rolled my eyes at him.
"I think the anesthesia is making you delusional Rogers"

He started laughing and seeing him in such a good mood brought a big smile on my face.

Tell him, I heard a voice in my head say. Tell him how you feel.

I gathered all the courage I could find and opened my mouth to talk:
"Steve I-"

I was interrupted by the door being opened, a nurse coming in.

"Hello Mr Rogers. How are you feeling?"
"Hi. I'm okay. It still hurts though"

The nurse nodded.

"It's normal. Not feeling pain after what happened to you would be worrying. However, thanks to the serum running through your body, you should recover pretty fast. You probably won't feel any pain anymore two days from now."

The nurse then handed him a tray full of food.

"Here's your breakfast." she said.
"Do I have to eat now? I'm not really hungry"
"That's because of the surgery but yes, you do have to eat. Super soldier or not, your body needs it."

Steve nodded and thanked the nurse.

"I will come back to check on your wound and stitches in about two hours"

And with that, she smiled at us and left the room.

"You're eating with me" I heard Steve say and I turned my head to face him, a bit confused.
"What? Why?"
"Because you obviously haven't eaten yet"
"I'm not hungry"
"I don't care. Didn't you hear what the nurse said? Your body needs it Nat"
"No, she said your body needs it Steve. You're the one on a hospital bed right now."
"Yes, but I'm pretty sure your body needs food too Romanoff."

I kept arguing but eventually gave up, seeing that Steve was not about to do so.
We both reluctantly started eating in silence, as neither of was actually hungry.

Soon enough, we were done and we started talking. Steve asked me about our friends and teammates and just as I was about to tell him that they should be here any minute now, we heard a knock on the door.

Steve told the person to come in and was happy to see Sam's face as the door opened. The others were right behind him.

They were all very happy to see Steve, awake and well, though still lying on the hospital bed.

When Clint's eyes landed on me, I saw a smirk on his lips and I frowned my eyes at him.

I turned my face to follow his gaze, wondering what made him smirk like that and I quickly got the answer to my question, as my eyes stopped at Steve and I's hands still tightly held together.

I felt my cheeks heat up but quickly fought for them to get back to their natural color before anyone could notice.

I then slowly took my hand out of Steve's. A feeling of some sort of emptiness spreading through my body after that.

Like she told us she would, the nurse came back two hours later. She did what she had to do and took care of Steve.

Before leaving again, she told us that we should be able to take Steve out of the hospital in two days but he would need a whole week to fully recover and advised him to avoid any kind of physical exercise until then.
I told her that I would personally make sure of that.

As I watched her leave the room once again, I found myself feeling relieved that she interrupted me earlier.
I realized that I was quite not ready to tell Steve how I felt about him. Our friendship, everything we had built so far, could be ruined if he didn't feel the same way.
And to be honest, even if he did, it wouldn't matter because he deserved better. It hurt but I wanted what's best for him and I didn't see myself being that person.

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