Graceless

Trois

-EDITED 19/10/15- 14/05/16

III

The sound of my knuckles rasping quickly against the hollow door agitated my nerves and turned my stomach into a Russian circus.

Why was I even here?

A cold breeze brushed my face and my neck, cooling them. I said just this once Grace. But... I turned as soon as the sound of the knob turning startled me and cause me to lose my balance.

I slipped and was falling fast but not fast enough. As soon as his arm wrapped around my waist to steady me I flinched out of his arms and onto the cold, wet pavement. I could still feel his hands on me... A sickening shudder ran through me and I was still on the pavement lying on my back and I didn't want to move. I couldn't move. I was paralyzed. Cold be damned, I was paralyzed and I closed my eyes. Just this once Grace. Just listen, you don't have to talk. Just listen. But I don't want to. I closed my eyes when I felt his hands hovering over me. I flinched when he stood me up but not as dramatically as the last time.

His hands fell to his sides and his eyebrows were pulled together in concern or anger or pity. I didn't know. His stormy eyes were what got my attention. I couldn't focus on anything but his eyes and it sickened me. It sickened me to my core. It was like he could see right through me. Like he already knew what I wanted to say or do or cry and scream.

"Hello Grace," He said in a completely baffled voice his eyes still on mine and his accent as sharp as ever.

I didn't say anything or do anything but he opened the door wider and walked inside. I hesitated momentarily. Just this once, Grace. I was greeted by a sudden warmth and an odd but delicious scent of pine and berries. I blinked slowly and made my way to the same black couch as last week. This time... this time I didn't put my back to him. This time I never broke eye contact.

"How are you Grace?"

I blinked slowly and kept my eyes on his.

•

"So I was like 'I'm taken, sorry', dude you should've seen the look on his face!" Lena was in stitches reliving one of her 'bump into this really cute guy' stories, her laughing face made her look constipated the way her already small eyes squished closed and her tiny, upturned celestial nose flared and wrinkled and her round rouge cheeks, shutting her eyes closed. She looked... happy.

"You know when you refuse to give a puppy a treat?" I didn't even glance at her but she was accustomed to my impassiveness by now "He looked just like that!"

She snorted another round of laughter and the two costumers—one checking out the acrylic paints and one reaching out to touch a canvas—stopped and gave her an odd look, narrowing my eyes I pointed at the DO NOT TOUCH THE CANVASES OR PAPERS' sign, she flushed and retrieved her hand quickly.

"And then, obviously he took the bait and was like 'well my friend is having this party at some abandoned warehouse, I don't know, I'm not sure. I'll have to text you the details' honestly that was really smooth and I was literally dying on the inside," I gave her an incredulous look, an abandoned warehouse? In the city?

Jesus Christ.

And I'm the tourist.

"Anyway. Will you come with?"

I blinked at her slowly.

"Great I'll pick you up at eight!" I groaned slowly at her and continued my steady brush strokes.

Lena was the closest thing I had to a best friend here, I trusted her and I stayed close to her because she was like me... well not exactly like me. She chose to forget. I didn't talk but she got me, she knew. Not that I need to do a lot of talking with her...

I felt her wiggle on the bench and let out a little squeal that caught me off guard causing my line to go through the entire canvas. I just looked at her patiently and sighed. She was mouthing something at me and I couldn't even be bothered to decipher what she was saying. I was mad. I blinked slowly and turned my attention back to the distorted oil paint on the covered canvas. I tilted my head slowly. It didn't look that bad. It actually looked better and I let out a tiny smile that I couldn't let Lena see.

I heard an intake of breath and deciding to ignore Lena. She was really irritating me lately.

"That's so... Beautiful," A sharp accent breathed softly and slowly. Not Lena.

I tightened my jaw and kept my head down hoping that he'd just ignore me and get on with his life. Was he stalking me? To see if I talked at work, I mean.

"Do you guys sell polymer clay?" or not.

But I still felt his eyes on me. Grazing my soul ever so slightly. I shuddered.

"Why yes we do," her voice was all sugary and sickening, the way it got when she saw new prey, "Right down that first aisle you see there with the craft stuff," Rolling my eyes, I shook my head.

"Thank you," I felt his hesitation then heard his soft footsteps pad down the 'Clay and stuff' aisle, literally.

I got up quickly with the painting in my hands and one thing on my mind. Not letting Lena see me blush and hyperventilate. I mean, he's my psychiatrist. And it's gross and unethical and just so wrong to even think... I shook my head and kicked open the door to the store room, grateful that Lena always forgets to close the door.

Placing the wet canvas on a nearby box and I locked the door shut quickly when I heard Lena jump off of the bench.

"Come on Gacie!" she whined and I just sat behind the door quietly. Breathing. Listening. Waiting.

Everything always takes a long while to happen Grace. Make it happen for once. Just once Grace.

Not today.

--

A/N

I really like this story and I feel comfortable writing it so far :) . Hope it's worth the read.

xoxo ♥

cheeky_gurl/_neferobri