Graceless

Cinq

TW: MENTION OF S/A
-EDITED 19/1015- 14/05/16

V

 
The door opened quietly and there was a sharp, thin sliver of light grazing the carpet, I quickly turned to face the other direction and shut my eyes tight. I didn't want to get caught being awake so late. I didn't want to know what the punishment for that would be. I tried to still my breathing and my pulse.

"Grace," his deep voice ricocheted off of the walls and zapped my throat and my sinuses shut. He knew I was awake and he was going to beat me. Or starve me.

"Grace, wake up," his voice was a low hum that made me sick, I didn't move, I was terrified. I was awake, very much so, I didn't move because I thought he was testing me. I thought I heard his footsteps retreating towards the door and my body relaxed.

There was a loud growl and rough hands tore my blankets off of me exposing my warm skin to the unrelenting cold of the never heated room. The fact that I was only wearing shorts and a cotton vest was not helping. I was still for a moment, my back still facing him, but my breathing was ravaged the air around me. I blinked and those same calloused, rough hands grabbed me uncaringly by the shoulder and threw me on my back.

I took one look at him and I could hardly make out his features but I could almost feel his sadistic satisfaction when his hands touch me mercilessly.

My eyes opened sharply and I was staring at Knox with a lump in my throat. I felt sick and guilty and worthless. My breathing was out of control and he was starting to notice because he stopped talking.

"Are you okay Grace?" His eyes softened and his lips pouted.

I nodded slowly and tried to swallow but I couldn't. I couldn't swallow because the words were finally choking me, threatening me with my own life, telling me it was time to talk to someone, to anyone. Just say it Grace! No.

I got up quickly and paced out of his office holding my throat. It hurt so badly, the memories, the words I wanted to say but was too afraid to, my throat. I couldn't deal with this, I just want to forget about it. Erase those years from my mind forever. I just wish it had never happened.

My throat constricted again and it hurt so much, the cold attached to the hot tears streaming down my face as I ran. I had no idea where I was going but I just wanted to be as far away from his office as possible. I couldn't breathe. Something was churning my stomach, burning me up from the inside. My chest ached, my stomach ached, my legs ached. EVERYTHING HURT SO BADLY. But I didn't stop. I wouldn't stop as long so long as my lungs kept me breathing.

My throat constricted tighter and my eyes got blurry, I couldn't see where I was going but I kept going and prayed for dear life that a car didn't hit me. No. never mind. Let it hit me. I think I'd be happy then; no more crying, no more pain, no more memories, no tight throats. No breathing.

I had no idea where I was but I stopped. Not because I was tired or because it hurt but because I need to stop. I just needed to stop. Falling to my knees I heaved slowly. Trying to breathe with my hands clenched onto the grass, I must've ran to the park. My nails dug deeper and deeper into the earth as I heaved and my throat burned from the contact of acid.

My lungs were still working. I was still hurting. Everything that happened had happened. I loosened my grip of sanity and rocked backwards onto my shins. I wasn't breathing. I was being strangled. I couldn't breathed because reality was smothering me. I was beneath layers upon layer of lies, fears and absoluteness. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip hard shaking my head as a new wave of tears burned my face.

"I used to run, when I was little," a voice said calmly from beside me and I opened my eyes slowly, "Will you give it a try Grace?"

I blinked slowly and dared not to look at the doctor. He was insane.

He was insanely beautiful.

If I existed in another universe where he wasn't my head doctor and I wasn't already undone I'd swear on my parent's grave—God bless their beautiful souls—that he would be my undoing.

Maybe he can be your doing Grace.

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A/N

Short but updated this c: in other news I'm failing Literature! Yay! :c Thanks for reading, don't forget to Vote, Comment, Follow and share with your friends if you like it :D

Stay beautiful ♥

_neferobri