Just Tell Me (Kili Fiction)

Chapter 10: Home? Home.

Our travels were long. Months in fact. Guided by Gandalf we traveled mountains, forests, lakes and towns.

Rivendell. A most beautiful elvish city reigned by the kindest of all eves i've ever met, Elrond. He offered us food, water, and a place to sleep.

"The air is cool." I said, walking through the city with Bofur and Fili over the bridges and looking the lakes. We stopped staring into a small pond with a few jumping fish. Neither of them responded as we stood silently looking at the ripples form over the glassy water.

"You look cold in the dress they gave you." Fili said after a moment, admiring the trees hanging over the water. "Why did you change into  it?"

"They offered to clean my clothes." That was something i wanted more than anything, clean clothes. "The dress is hideous." I lied. I loved the way it flowed through the air in the slight breeze around my feet. I wasn't even wearing any shoes walking around on the surprisingly warm stone paths.

"I think we've drank all the wine." Bofur said, ignoring my comment while letting out a soft laugh. "Im going to find the others. I don't think we've drank enough of the beer!" He smiled just a touch too widely as a talk dark elf walked past us. His eyes starring at Bofur as he said this.

"Fili, are you coming?" He said, starting to walk away. I looked down again to my blue flowing dress, the cloth almost touching the water that i stood so close to.

"I haven't visited the moon, Bofur. I want to go us to the place we read the moon runes." I tried to remember, however i realized i'd never been there for that. I in fact never even saw moon runes for myself before. "Would you like to see them?" He looked to me, and i nodded, not looking us to him, but taking in the look of the jumping fish glinting in the pool.

"Im going up then, see you later lad!" And with that, Bofur walked off. Without a word Fili and I started to walk towards the balcony. As we finally reached the blue glowing place, my breath was taken away. The gorgeous Crystal covering the table before me was the most interesting thing i'd seen. I found myself reaching out to touch the surface and felt the smooth layer. Gliding my fingers to the edge i was suddendly shocked at the cutting pain along my fingers. I instantly jerked my fingers away from the crustal, clutching my bleeding finger.

"Ow." I whispered looking at the blood, confused at the desperately sharp edges.

"Its amazing, isn't it." Fili said, glancing down over the city and wide eyed at the half moon. "I wanted to ask you something." He said. I accidentally shiver thinking of the question that he could ask. "Do you have any feelings for my brother?" I knew he would ask this question at some time, deep in my heart.

"I don't exactly see that as your business." I said, not snappy but defensive.

"But i wonder. I wonder if you have feelings for him when you look at my brother the way you do." I can feel myself blushing and silently pray he cannot see the redness in the moon light.

"Your a good brother, Prince." I said without another word.

"I wont tell a soul." He said quicker looking back at me, tearing his eyes from the city.

"I think both you and your brother are precious. I think all the dwarves are excellent." I held back a chocked laughter, "however, your brother has left a mark on me i cannot deny." Without another word i walked away down the grand steps. Fili must have been satisfied because i walked away and he never gave another word, instead, he subtly smiled under his braided moustache.

We arrived at the mountain just 8 weeks later and i never once spoke more than a word to Kili for all that time.... I had lost and Thorin had won the right to his nephew.

As we few climbed the steps to the mountain and entered, I was flabbergasted with memories of myself dancing around with Kili and Fili. Making as much noise and fun we could together along the massive echoing halls. Now, many years later i was with him again, in the same halls, with the same urge to dance with Kili but maybe this time, i wanted to do more than dance... I had to admit my love for Kili to myself now. Maybe the way i had to Fili... I never stopped thinking about him for 18 weeks or, since i met him.

I slid my self behind the crowd of collected young dwarves and we were welcomed by many faces. Thorin was patted on the back and bustled into another room, leaving all of us alone.

Quickly, i walked over to Kili and Fili.

"Tell me how you feel." I pressed as i took the collar of his shirt lightly in my hands.

Kili's face just flushed. But I was anxious and furious at the same time. "What? My brother-" He just stood there.

"Tell me how you feel!" I put my other hand on his shoulder and applied some pressure to my words.

"Why are you asking me this now?" He looked mostly startled and i was holding down a rising blush. My voice was week and forced.

"Please just answer!" I said looked back to the doors and then to Fili who had an expression of awe.

"Why?" He questioned back, stubborn. Answer me. I was so scarred now. I let go of his shirt and let my hand trace my own face.

"Because we are alone." I said, "please, if there is any chance you could tell me the truth?"

"We aren't alone! Look around you!" He pointed right at fili who just stood with an impressed expression.

"Shush, Kili." He said. "Tell her how you feel." Kili's face curved into a solid expression i didn't understand. Fear raked my body he would say what u wanted him to.

"Okay!!" He blurted way to loud. "Your just a wonderful- i don't know? It!
But i don't have any feeling for you!" My stomach dropped.

The words he spat in a hurry were like a hit to my stomach. A stinging pain absolutely everywhere as if i was being cut everywhere at one by crystal.

"Please, don't ask again." He said, looking at me strangely, as if i was a caged creature. His eyes were filled with something of sympathy.

And all of a sudden, there he was, walking out of the room and in through the doors. I let out a chocking sound, my body frozen and eyes locked on Fili.

"He lies." He said, rushing his words, shocking as much as i was. "He told me-" i suddenly felt sour, bitter and angry.

"You heard the Prince." I snarled, "he has no feeling for me." My voice hung in the air, poisoned. I let my feet walked away from him, and through the large doors.