Manic - A Book of Poetry

Shattered

Shattered

It’s all I can do

to keep from screaming.

Ugly, stupid, vain, ugly

disgusting piece of flesh.

I’m a joke wrapped up in fake confidence.

Fake smiles.  I hate my smile.

My hips, my joints, the very heart

that keeps this corpse alive.

“You’re fine, I can’t notice, you’re beautiful.”

But can’t you see my rotting soul?

Infatuated with the mirror.

Find every flaw.  Misaligned teeth and poor vision.

I wish sleep never ended, morning never came.

I wish my mind would shut up.

Stop shouting how useless I am.

How stupid I truly am.

I already know there is no fix

for an anxious leg tapping

staring in the mirror until I’m sick.

I’ll fix it later.  Pills, surgery, break

my body down or break all the voices in my head.

I’m mentally unstable.  Emotionally damaged

like fine china shattered.