OCTOBRE。
When Halloween came around, you told me you didn't want to do anything so we stayed home and I watched you draw. It is funny how quickly my apartment became our home.
You would come in at random times of the day and install yourself as if it was your place and not mine. I never minded anyway. I loved having you around because you always made me feel at ease and happy whenever I got the chance to hold you close to me, and sometimes even sing to you.
Three days prior to Halloween, I forced you out of the apartment and we went shopping. We bought costumes and candy and even pumpkin to carve. The reason we did that was not because we planned on going for Halloween, but it was because we planned on giving them to children at an orphanage. I had stumbled upon it one morning and ever since, I made sure to donate as much as I could.
Two days to Halloween, you went all the way and managed to carve all the pumpkins we got and while you were busy carving expertly, I was there watching the look of pure focus you administered as your hands worked their magic on the fruits. If I had words to explain how beautiful you were, I would. But it was impossible since everytime I saw you, you would take my breath away.
We were all done by the time the day before Halloween came around. All we had to was to deliver our work to the orphanage.
As we packed, you kept on telling me how excited you are, how happy you were to make those children happy and how you wished you could do this every day. I would simply smile and tell you that we could do it anytime we had the chance to. And I really did hope we would.
On the day of Halloween, you looked less excited but nevertheless regained a smile as we went to the orphanage, and once we got there, you got your excitement came back.
Seeing you handle the kids made me happier than I should have been and brought me to a time where I imagined us having our own. It was absurd, but I couldn't help but think about it. I had you in mind all the time, so it was no surprise that the thought of you raising our kids invaded my mind and stayed until we reached home.
It was evening when we got back to my apartment, exhausted from the day's activities. The moment we entered, you instantly crushed on the floor and I followed behind. The lights were turned off and the only source we got was from the moon shining through the curtains. I sat next to you and together, we gazed wordlessly at the moon.
"What would you want to be for Halloween if you could?" I asked you not because I hated the silence, but because I didn't want you to drown in your thoughts.
I vividly recall how you turned to me and swallowed loudly. Your eyes were searching my face. "Do you want to know what I want to be?"
I nodded.
"I want to be myself. Just for tonight." And then you kissed me.
The impact was so sudden that it took me aback and I fell backwards a little so that I was supporting myself on my elbows. Your lips were soft—just like I imagined—and warm against mine. It was a soft touch, almost testing, as though you were waiting for me to stop you. But if you only how much I had been waiting for this, you wouldn't even have hesitated.
I regained control and sat back up, my lips still attached to yours as I held your arms and pressed myself on you. When my hand fisted your hair, a gasp left your lips as they parted and my tongue instantly swept in.
The taste of your mouth was enough to drive any sane man mad, and considering how I was less sane than the next man, it only took your tongue in my mouth to drive me to insanity.
I just simply couldn't get enough. And I proved it to you when my free hand when around your waist and pulled you to my lap. My hands couldn't stay still and interpreted the excitement of my heart by roaming your entire body.
Still on my lap, your hands found their way to my chest and pulled me lightly until I was on my back and you were fully straddling me. The kiss only seemed to grow more intense and the only sounds in the room were that of your ragged breaths we took in between kissing.
I wanted to know every inch of you that day, and I felt like I had too many possibilities and not enough time. It seemed as though time was slipping through and there was nothing I could do about it.
I was proved right when you pulled away and breathlessly stared down at me. I knew you could see how dark and bigger my eyes had gotten. It was all love—it was all you.
"Thank you for letting me be me."
"Anything for you, baby."
