AVRIL 。
The day you left me on the stairs was the last time I ever saw or heard from you. To say I missed you would be an understatement. I knew it sounded insane since I had met you just once, but Lord, I needed to see your face again.
I started doing things I never knew I needed to do for a long time but still, they didn't change a thing. I took walks, listened to music, petted dogs, cooked—but nothing worked. I didn't know how you did it, but it worked; you managed to have me hooked on you like my life depended on it.
I remember how your actions were a very calculated anytime you talked, as though you were scared to say something wrong to me. You were shy despite having come up to me on the street to tell me not to smoke. And when I think about it, I think maybe the reason why I had done that was to have someone tell me not to intoxicate myself. And I am intensely glad that you were the one who came.
The day you finally showed up at my door after a full month was and will forever be memorable to me.
I was in my kitchen, taking sips after sips of black coffee when I heard knocks. I was surprised because no one came to visit me—I didn't mind but it was still unexpected.
I was prepared to meet a neighbour asking for something or a stranger who had gotten the wrong apartment, but I got better. Instead of strange and unfamiliar faces, I got you and that was better than anything else.
I saw you and yet it took me a long time to actually believe that you were standing in front of me in all your glory. When it was clear that you wouldn't disappear, I pulled you close and engulfed you in my arms.
You seemed shocked at first and I didn't blame you; but then I felt your arms gingerly hooking around my waist and it was the most amazing feeling in the world. I buried my head in your beautiful hair and nuzzled your neck while taking in your scent. In case you were to ever leave, at least I would have something to remember you by.
We stayed like that for a while—but it felt like eternity to me—until you pulled away and looked down at your feet. I kept looking at your face and told you that I missed you. Your eyes instantly met mine in a wide stance and your lips parted as though it was hard to believe. Right then if I could have shown you, I would. But I couldn't, so I simply took your hand and let you feel how fast my heart was beating and you laughed and blamed it on me not doing enough exercise.
And I asked you to have dinner with me.
You said no. You shook your head too quickly and said you had somewhere to go. I didn't call you out on how you kept looking anywhere except my face as you spoke and how you kept fidgeting with your hands.
You told me you only came to give me your number so I could contact you when you were not around because you wanted to talk to me.
I nodded and took your number because at least I knew you still wanted me to know what you were up to. I didn't want to force you to go out with me despite the pang of disappointment I felt when you said no. I wanted to make you comfortable around me and if that meant keeping my distance, then I was willing to do it.
I watched you walk away once more with reluctant steps until the only thing that remained was your scent in the air.
I went out alone. I sat down with a cup of coffee on the table and observed everyone around me. It was in the evening and the café I was in was buzzing with life as people walked in and out of it. The whole place smelled safe and relaxing, but I was anything but.
I have to admit that I was still a bit sad that you had rejected me but I pushed it at the back of my head and repeated that it was for the best, and that I had rushed a little. But I couldn't help it; I had to ask you to know more. Though I found out, it didn't help with the loneliness I felt.
It was at that exact moment that I began to believe in miracles.
During the period between focusing on the people in the café and thinking of you, a droplet of water hit the window I was leaned against and made me turn. That was when I saw you sitting outside on your own with your head lowered.
I remember wasting no time and quickly sprinting out of the café and walking towards you with excited breaths. When you looked up at me, the expression on your face was identical to the one you had when I hugged you. You looked at me as if you couldn't believe that I could still show up after rejecting me. But I didn't care, and I wished you knew that.
"Hello," you said with uncertainty. I saw your hands slightly shaking as it started to softly drizzle.
"Hey," I replied, and for a moment then I thought you might have heard the heavy palpitations in my chest. But you didn't, and your eyes returned to the journal in your lap. I didn't ask you about it because I could see the way your hands gripped it and covered it from view.
Carefully, I handed you the coffee I brought with me and you took it gingerly, making sure that you didn't graze my fingers.
You ended up touching my fingers entirely because apparently fate had other plans.
You muttered a quiet thank you before clearing your throat. Then you asked cheekily if the drink was spiked before cracking a small smile.
I smiled back and told you honestly that I would never do something like that. Your smiled faltered a little and you apologised. I knew that you were apologising for much more than a slip of tongue but I simply let you know that I was not offended.
I hovered over you a little bit before bidding a goodbye and left you alone. I went back to my seat. From where I sat, I could still see you and the smile that played on your lips as you stared at the cup I gave you and inhaled before taking a gulp.
You came to me again at midnight.
I was trying to sleep but it was useless since my mind was filled with too many thoughts to find sleep. Then again, I didn't need sleep when I found you standing in front of my apartment with a pillow and a heavy heart.
That night you apologised again for being many things you were not. You said you didn't mean to sound rude to me and that you would understand if I didn't want to see you again.
I simply shook my head and let you know that everything was okay, and then I offered you my bed. You wanted to protest but I was already on the sofa and wishing you a goodnight. I didn't see your face but I heard when you said that you were glad to have found me.
I knew then that what we had was going to be the start of an unforgettable encounter.
***
So chapter 2! Don't forget to like and leave comments (they're immensely appreciated).
Side note: I recently heard of You (never got the chance to watch except for the first episode of season 1), and I realise how this story sounds like Joe doing an extremely long voiceover lmaooo
