In His Hands (BxB)

Forward

***Talon's POV***

I have been working hard with my therapy. I look for the good in myself just like I promised. Sometimes, it's easy. Other times, people's past words overlap my effort. I realize it's not my fault my twin didn't make it. But, people's words make deep cuts. Those words dance in your mind like little ballerinas that are hard to ignore.

I haven't purged in weeks. But, I haven't been eating at school either. I don't want my peers to see me stuffing my face like a cow. I feel their eyes on me. Maybe it's just in my head.

I look in the mirror often. Probably I look too often and for too long. I don't see what Remington sees in me. I'm gross. My hands are small. My legs are short. My arms are too long. I'm disproportioned. My stomach is huge. I'm covered in cellulite. The scale says I'm still underweight. But, scales lie.

My lips are too big for my face. I can't read without glasses. I'm short. I giggle when I'm supposed to be a man. Men don't giggle. He will figure it out. He is gonna leave me when he opens his beautiful blue eyes and sees I'm not good enough for him.

I throw myself on the bed and sigh. It doesn't matter. I knew we wouldn't last forever. That's life. You don't just wake up in a fantasy and get to stay there, happily ever after. That shit is for Wattpad.

I close my eyes and try to concentrate on anything good about myself. That's what Dr. Angela says I have to do. I guess my arms aren't too flabby. They stop flapping like wings after a few minutes. My thighs only rub together if I stand with my ankles together. My feet aren't all that fat. This is depressing.

Sigh.

Giving up on the therapy for the time being, I decide to go exercise. That always makes me feel better. As I get dressed, I think about all the pros of exercising. I find myself excited as I think about all the calories I will burn when I run.

This is just what I need. I can run for a couple hours and then I will feel better. So, I slip on my joggers and a pair of tights underneath. I throw on my long sleeve dry fit shirt and a hoodie. Then I slide on my socks and lace up my Adidas trainers.

I head to the pack borders and I start with a light jog. After a mile, I run full force into the light winds. I can feel the sweat dripping off my body, melting the disgusting fat off my chubby body.

A few more hours and I will be good.

I run until sundown. I feel lighter. My breathing is labored, signs of a successful session of burning useless weight. My heart pounds erratically and I smile knowing I'm taking care of myself.

When I get done running, I feel tired. I decide to cool down with some walking. I guess I lost track of time. I look and see the dark night blanketing the sky.

I lay in the grass and watch as my chest rises and falls with my breath. I did great. I worked off so many excess pounds. I can't wait until tomorrow after school so I can do this again.

The next few weeks I carry on with my running routine. Remi is busy with Alpha duties and I meet him at night for bed. I'm so tired from my hard work that I fall asleep immediately.

Again, on Wednesday I fall easily into my routine. I'm doing so good. I can run for hours and I feel myself getting healthier. I don't even need to eat during the day because my body is burning all the fat cells that I have stored.

On Thursday I wake up light headed. Ugh, it feels yucky. I drink some water and go about my daily schedule hoping the day goes by. I can hear my running shoes calling my name.

When school lets out, I go straight home and dress for my new favorite activity. I don't bother jogging. More running means more calories gone. I smile as I pick up speed.