I Just Can't Avoid It This Time (austlan cashby)

........his last wish (continued)

AND IT CONTINUES.....

I hear the bus door open but only onne set of footsteps. then i here the one and only  austin. 

austins POV**

thats weird. Alan isnt in the lounge area. hmm maybe he is in his bunk asleep. i was out at the bar with the guys but it felt wrong without alan there so i decided to come back and just hang here with alan ALONE  for once. 

"alan? alan you here?"

"im in the bathroom uhh cleaning up.." his voice cracked. hes crying or he was earlier. 

"Alan whats wrong?"

"nothing im uhh im fine yea im fine.."

i started to walk to the bathroom and when i reached it i noticed the dorr was locked,

" alan unlock the door baby whats wrong are you okay?" i asked starting to get a bit worried when he didnt answer

Alans POV**

i have to do it now i cant wait.  i opened up the notes app on my phone and pulled up the goodbye note i had writen so many times before. i took the sleeping pills and booze said goodbye and took and drink of the unknown alchohol and a handful of pills. i reapeated thuis until i had ran out of sleeping pills. immeadiately i started to get light headed, i didnt think this was killing me fast enough so i took the blade that i had taped underneath the sink and rolled my sleeves up revaling the lightly fading scars from my past. all i could here was the voice in my head telling me to give in and let the darkness take over. but i had to tell austin goodbye first. i ste the piece of metal down and walked sloppily into the lounge and austin immeadiately jumped from his seat and ran to me holding me and screaming questions that i couldnt make out due to my level of intoxication. i knew i was close to blacking out, but fro some reason my body wouldnt let me...

Austins POV**

i looked to find my beautiful ginger staning a few feet away from me with swollen eyes and a sullen look on his beautiful face. i got up immeadiately and held on to him screaming and yelling askng him if he was okay then he started to stand on his own a little better than before but the he soon fell to the floor again eyes still open but he was barely responsive. then the guys walked in, i yelled at them to call 911 and phil grabbed my phone off the counter , dialed the number and then went to the freezer to get ice and then to get a towel. Aaron had to have tino help him pry me off of alans unconcious body as the paramedics rolled the gurney out of the bus. i sat there screaming, crying and shaking uncontrollably while phil and aaron got me into the car and the 4 of us drove to the hospital.

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holy mother of shit birds guys that was so hard to write and i cant believe i finished it. it was hard because ive gone through problems with self harm and suicide but i just want you guys to know that you can always talk to me. messge me here and i will either give you my kik or talk to you on here but please just dont give up because i love you soooooooo much. <3 stay strong and rock on \m/ haha byeee