Mixtape

Dismantling Summer- The Wonder Years

A Girl Named Liam

It was a warm, breezy day on the streets of Manhattan, but Liam couldn't be deterred by the wind or the heat. Her legs carried her through the crowds of workers and sight-seers at a steady pace, her ratty shoes tripping lightly over the curbs and puppy-dogs that stood in their way. Hanging from her right arm was a plastic bag from one of the many Duane Reade pharmacies around the city, filled with orange bottles of various labels, some candy, and a tiny stuffed bear holding a red velvet heart. In her other arm was a tissue-paper wrapped bundle of fresh, vibrant, short-stemmed sunflowers from Starbright Floral Design- the price for these could be labeled as 'atrocious' or 'unreasonable,' but Liam figured she could get only the best for her girl.

Liam could see, above the crowd, the Lower Manhattan Hospital. Her eyes scanned that blank, square building where her girl was being held with something like wariness, but also exhaustion. She had done this so many times before- picked up her girl's medications and a small gift at a pharmacy, swung by a florist to get some flowers, then trekked or rode the bus all the way down to Lower Manhattan at around 5 in the evening.

Liam let out a quiet sigh as she kept her chin high above the crowd, eyes trained on the medical building and her mind lost in thought. Her head swam and wandered until the force of a stranger bumping into her knocked her out of her reverie and onto the ground.

"S-sorry..." she mumbled, reaching to pick up the plastic pill bottles that had been spilled and attempting to cradle her slightly crumpled sunflowers protectively. Some of the petals had fallen off of one of them, and she had to shade her frustration by staring at the ground. She had no reason to go off on this random person, and besides, she felt a little bit bad for him. The stranger, a red-cheeked, overweight boy with scratched, thick-rimmed glasses, was stuttering out apologies and fumbling to help her place her items beck into her bag. She collected her tell-tale bottles and chocolate and took off, barely brushing past the boy as she continued down the street. She was almost late-she no longer had time for a disheveled stranger.

Liam was soon inside the lobby of the hospital, inhaling with displeasure that stale, medicinal smell. She checked in with the receptionist- Barbara, was her name- and took the stairs up to the room her girl was being held in. As usual, she was minutes early for visiting times, and sat reluctantly in a chair beside the door, her head hanging and elbows resting on her knobby knees.

After a short time, the door opened, and the doctor stepped out into the hallway. Dr. Clydesdale was his name, and what a dreadful man Liam had found him to be. Six foot four and scrawny as a post, his dark hair and beady eyes gave off a sickening sense of loathing and unwarranted spite. But he was a smart man, and he kept her girl alive, so Liam had to be grateful to him.

Dr. Clydesdale looked at her briefly, upper lip curling into a sneer, before stepping to the side to let her pass. Liam entered with a curt nod, her thin hair bobbing about her head moodily, and then went into her girl's room, closing the door behind her. The sound of the door shutting felt like a weight pressing down on her chest, but by now she was used to it. It was the sound of privacy and the secret of the young, blonde thing in the bed across the room.

As usual, the blinds were drawn and the lights dimmed, so that the atmosphere felt more like certain death than hopeful recovery. As usual, it was quiet as a mouse. As usual, her girl lay on the bed, tucked deeply beneath the covers, cheeks pale, eyes closed, and not even noticing her arrival.

"Lilith," Liam breathed, finally releasing the doorknob and taking steps towards the bed. Her eyes scanned the young girl of only age 14, studying her like she did almost every day. Short, wavy blonde hair spilling onto the pillow in a halo around her head, and pale skin that hadn't seen the sun in a very long time. Beneath those closed eyelids were eyes as clear blue as diamonds and crystals that once shined just as much. Since she fell ill, they'd become somewhat muggy and tired, like the surface of the glass had cracked.

"Hey Lilith," Liam cooed softly, knowing her best friend couldn't hear her. When Lilith was under, she was deeply under, and Liam could never find a way to reach her when she was asleep. She'd been asleep every visit so far that month, and Liam's subconscious logic was telling her that this was very, very bad. It took most of her will-power to ignore this.

"Lilith, honey," she tried again, taking the chocolates and bear out of her bag. She set the chocolates on the table beside the bed next to the lamp and half-full box of Junior Mints from her last visit, and the bear on the pillow next to Lilith's head. Lilith breathed, but never stirred.

"Honey, I brought you chocolates. And a cute little bear, see?" She jiggled the bear by Lilith's head, doing nothing more than ruffle her blonde hair. Liam sighed, looking at the sunflowers tucked into her arm. Lilith probably wouldn't see them until she was already half way across town, and Liam wondered if her girl would even realize who they were from.

Liam moved across the room and began lining the orange pill bottles on the windowsill where they were usually kept. She glared at each one as she pulled them out of the bag, her grip tightening on each until she was sure she might possibly crack the plastic in her hands. She was almost tempted to pull up the blinds just so that she could glower at the way they caught the dim evening sun and cast that familiar, ugly citrus glow throughout the room.

Finally, she took a seat next to Lilith's bed. She placed the sunflowers next to Lilith and placed her elbows on her knees. She folded her hands in front of her and hung her head.

"How did this happen, Lilith?" Liam asked the empty room. "Where the hell did you GO? One day you were so full of life and so happy and it felt like you and I could live an eternity together, but now... What if you don't make it, Lilith?

"You've always been so important to me, Lilith. You're the best friend I could ever ask for and I... I love you a lot, Lilith. You and the family you had raised me where my own couldn't, and when we lived in Pennsylvania everything was so much simpler. We were young and we lived on your back porch, and we would go out climbing trees and making tire swings and being normal and happy and alive.

"Lilith, I hope you realize how hard I'm trying. When your family died I took you to Manhattan with me to live with my uncle because I LOVE YOU, Lilith, and I need you to be okay. I didn't want you to spend your entire teenage life in a hospital but I want you to get better, and that's all. I don't care how shitty my uncle treats me, or how much your doctor hates me... It's all gonna make you better, I promise.

"And I'm in a band, Lilith. I didn't tell you before, but I finally got my own band. And I want to be famous, Lilith. I want my face on magazines and my voice in albums because I think I can do this. Uncle doesn't think so, but I do, and I know if you were awake, you would agree with me. But being in a band means being busy, and I can't commit to anything with the knowledge that while I'm out there, you're in here. You're here in a hospital bed, and I'll always be thinking about what would happen if... If you don't make it, Lilith, if...

"Oh god, Lilith, what if you don't make it... Oh god..."

Liam raised her head. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying and on the verge of weeping hysterically. She looked around the room at the orange bottles and the uneaten food and the sunflowers with petals missing.

"You need to get better, Lilith," Liam said, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. "You need to get better, so that everything can be how it was again."

((a/n Liam is bae))