in plain sight

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major tw: eating disorders (anorexia and a bit of bulimia), self harm, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt

A/N: Before you read this, please proceed with caution. this story is very triggering, and contains many sensitive topics. please don't read this if any of the triggers listed above might affect your mental health. i love you guys and don't want you to get hurt. enjoy the story, lovelies.

It started with a hashtag. A hashtag that turned everything in the wrong direction. Some people admired him with the hashtag, others were shaming him. Either way, it was an insecurity being pointed out left and right.

#tokkytummy or #mellettummy

It had been accidental. Troye didn't mean to click on the tag. His finger had slipped and he couldn't stop himself from reading. He scrolled and scrolled, losing track of time. He saw that people liked it, but that seemed weird. He also saw the people calling him fat, and saying he needed to go to the gym like the rest of the band. It had always been a little insecurity he had. Something needed to change. There were a few problems though. First off, Troye loved food too much not to eat it. Secondly, the boys would definitely notice if he was eating less. There seemed to be no good way to lose the weight other then exercise, because that was something nobody would question.

The band was in Canada for the first night, during the tour for Four, so things were hectic and there was little time for any of the members to be alone. Troye was up almost the entire night, scrolling through the tag. Morning came, and Troye got up early. They didn't preform until later, so he had a bit of time to kill. He put on a ball cap on, some sunglasses, and pulled the hood of a baggy grey sweater over his head to hide his face. He then put on some long shorts and crept outside to go running. Luckily nobody recognized him on his way out of the hotel. No one even gave him a second glance. It was still dark, and cool from the night air. Perfect running conditions. Troye stuck some earbuds in his ears and set off running. He went as fast and as far as his legs could carry him. Troye ended up running for an hour, right before the sun rose. He made his way back to his room in the hotel. Troye felt his stomach grumble for food, and realized how long he had been out. He quickly went back to his room to change and clean up, then joined Jacob, Tyler, Cory, and Adam in a private room where they had their food brought in. He burst in, and quickly took a seat, trying not to disrupt Tyler too much from his eggs and bacon.

"Sleep in?" Jacob asked jokingly, but with an edge because of a certain incident that happened early on during the where we are tour. Yes, Jacob was still mad about the weed incident.

"Rough night?"Cory asked right after with a touch of concern in his voice.

"Yeah, had a little trouble sleeping, but it's nothing,"

Troye gave a weak smile before grabbing an apple from a bowl in the middle of the table. Adam raised his eyebrows at Troye' choice of breakfast, but said nothing. Troye bit into the apple, and munched his way around. After eating exactly half, the team was called in for an interview. He stood up with the boys and they filed out of the room. Being a gentleman and first to the door, Troye held it open for everyone else. Once through, he looked at the garbage can just outside the door. His eyes flitted to the apple. He stared at it for a long second. Something clicked in his brain and he dropped the apple into the bin. The words 'only half' running through his head over and over.

They breezed through the interview, like always. Cracking little jokes here and there. Troye was as happy as ever, just like normal. They walked out of the interview room to find hundreds of people outside, mostly girls, being kept out of a small area around the door by a set of guards. A small girl, around 4'10" managed to slip past a guard. She was the crazy type of fan, and she made a beeline for Troye. Jumping up and latching on to him like a koala, Troye lost his balance and tumbled onto the floor. The girl sat over him on her hands and knees, one on each side. He didn't want to push her off, so he just lay there and stared up at her pale brown eyes. She then began rambling on about how much she loved One Direction, and that Troye was her favourite and that he should read the Larry fanfiction she had written. Somewhere in the middle of her rant, she poked Troye in the stomach.

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