Unwilling Truth

Chapter 8: Truths

I waited and waited until Jax finally walked into the room. I had returned everything to its place.

"Hey I didn't see you at lunch. Are you feeling okay?" he asked looking worried.

Okay that was sincere. Time for your first test.

"I was just worried about my brother. Do you think I will ever find him?" I asked.

His face altered at the word brother like it usually did. At first I had thought he lost a brother, but now I'm guessing he knew something about mine.

"We're in a war, I think the chances are almost impossible," he said with absolute confidence. My stomach turned.

"How would you know?" I asked. Say it. Tell me the truth. "Unless there's something you're not telling me."

His face changed color. He was nervous. I knew it. I wish I didn't, but the gig was up. I pulled out the chain with the ring. His eyes grew wide. He was scared.

"How did you get this," he whispered. "Were you looking through my stuff?"

"Well at first I thought I was part of your love triangle. Heck, when I saw the ring I thought you were married. I thought maybe that's why he looks so guilty when he's with me. Now, I wish that you were a cheating bastard then a liar!" I yelled. I wanted to throttle him!

"Wait Tess, you don't understand!" he said taking a step closer but I took one back trying to keep some distance between us.

"Just tell me this, what did you do to him?" I asked, chocking on the cry lodged in my throat.

"Nothing! I was helping him! I found this poor little boy alone and tried to keep him safe. I failed— I failed— and it's been killing me all this time! He made me promise to keep you safe during our time together. That's why I'm here Tess," he said.

"So he's dead," I said flatly. My brother was dead.

He came closer as if to comfort me but I stepped back again.

"Don't touch me please. I don't want to see you right now," I said trying not to cry.

"Please Tess, you had to know I did my best," he tried again.

"If you did your best he would be alive right now," I yelled. The tears I had been holding back came rushing out. My brother was dead! Adam was dead! Jax was there and he let him die!

"You think I don't know that! It's been hard on me too Tess! I was there! I was supposed to protect him! Dammit- he was just a kid and they took him away from me! From you! You think that didn't ruin me?!" he yelled. "Look at me Tess, do I look like I'm lying to you?"

I blinked back the tears. He wasn't lying. He meant every word. Yet it didn't stop this excruciating pain in my chest.

I shook my head. Jax then grabbed me and held me tight. I clenched to his chest and I cried until my I felt like I've let out every little thing out. I felt weak. I felt broken. Adam was gone.

When I stopped crying, Jax tucked me in bed, before he began to pull away.

I grabbed his arm. "Don't leave me."

I couldn't be alone. Not with my thoughts. I would go crazy.

"I won't," he whispered. Jax lay down beside me, holding me as I slowly drifted to sleep.

When I woke up Jax was still beside me and his arm was wrapped around me. I wouldn't mind waking up like this for a while. I stared at his face. The curl of his lashes, the bow of his lips, his hard jaw line. God, I think I had it bad for him. He fluttered his beautiful brown eyes opened.