No Choice, No Choice At All!

Chapter 6

The sun woke me up and it made me ever sadder than I was when I went to bed.

I rolled around in the gigantic bed, trying to look for the edge, and planted my feet on the soft carpet.

Rubbing my eyes with a sigh, I remembered just what had happened down last night. To make a long story short, I basically screwed up any chance I had with Lucien.

And I know what you’re thinking; you thought that I hated him; that I was going to make his life miserable. Well, the one good thing that came out of this mess was that my wolf finally (and literally) pulled herself together and last night she ripped into me, letting me know how much I messed this up.

Remember when I said that my wolf wasn’t the kind to speak? Well she apparently learned how to do that and was voicing her opinion.

After Lucien left me last night, I crumpled to the ground, feeling absolutely numb. My mind was reeling and I was utterly confused as to what I was feeling.

No wonder Lucien left me; if I was him, I would have left me too! What he said was 100% true. He could deal with me loving him or hating him, but my indecision was too much to handle. It was too much for me to handle! So I could totally see how he felt.

I guess in my despair, my wolf decided that it was time she was heard. She let me know that I loved (well, at least cared for him slightly) the bloodsucker and that we were mates.

Lucien was also right (looks like I’m the one who’s always wrong in the relationship) when he said I was sheltered. Because I really didn’t know much about other species, or even werewolves for that matter!

All I knew about mates was what I saw with my parents. And as I thought about it now, I definitely wanted what my parents had. I wanted a guy to look at me like my dad looked at my mom. And I wanted to feel safe and secure when a guy hugged me like my mom said she felt when my dad hugged her.

I sighed and got out of bed, feeling totally depressed. I managed to take a shower without drowning myself, and also managed to brush my teeth without trying to drink my mouthwash as to get drunk from the slight traces of alcohol in it.

I know. I don’t do sad very well.

I walked into the closet, picked out something to wear and walked back into the bedroom to see the huge bed with rumpled sheets on only one side.

I sighed to myself thinking that if I hadn’t been such a jackass that Lucien would be laying on the other side of the bed looking adorable as he slept.

Not that I knew what he looked like asleep, but I only assumed he’d look cute sleeping. Lord knows he looks damn sexy doing everything else.

Digging deep into my memory from yesterday, I made my way downstairs and into the dining room area.

When I pushed the swinging doors open, I almost wanted to slink back through them. The reason was because Lucien, in all his early-morning glory, was sitting at the dining table reading a newspaper.

There was a half-eaten plate of eggs and bacon on his plate and mug of steaming coffee. He didn’t seem to have noticed me coming in and I tried to slip back through the doors when Anita came through another set of doors; which I saw led into the kitchen.

“Oh your Highness, please, sit. I will bring out a plate for you too,” she said and dashed back into the kitchen.

I sighed and sat across the table from Lucien but down a few seats, so he sat at an angle from me.

If he hadn’t noticed me before, he certainly did now as he lowered his newspaper and greeted me, “Good morning, Paige.”

I nodded to him and replied back softly, “Good morning.”