Freak

// 1 //

It was cold. It was so cold I could feel my bones shivering. I thought it was just cold but I started to notice the tiny white flecks falling from the sky and realized it was snowing. The snow wasn't sticking but it was falling fast, covering me in a blanket of little white snowflakes. I had a few urges to turn around and go back home but I changed my mind every time. My face turned numb in response to the snowflakes that landed on my face. I wiped them off but they turned into little puddles of water and made my face even more cold and wet. I started to cry thinking of why I was even walking here in the snow covered streets anyway.

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My dad was absolutely furious. His face was bright red and his teeth were barred aggressively. I had really fucked up this time. I hate having to properly introduce myself to people because anything and everything I could possibly say to describe myself make me look like a rude, drugged up jerk and maybe thats what I am but I wouldn't want that to be what people think of me the second the meet me. Okay aside from my faltering attempt to gain sympathy, my name is Zane and I'm not going to lie to you, I'm a really bad guy. I pull lot of pranks, get bad grades, do all sorts of drugs and drink anything that looks remotely drinkable. I've done a lot of things that make my past look like a vicious murder scene but despite all those things, the current thing that my dad was particularly fired up about this time was probably my the biggest fatal mistake I've made yet. I was at Kendra Smith's party. Every teenager in town ranging in age from 14-19 we're crammed in Kendra's garage. Normally, your garage wouldn't be an ideal place to have a teenager party of around fifty kids. Well not in an average sized garage. Kendra's garage was way above average. Her garage was the same size as my house. Why you would need a garage the size of 10 elephants is beyond me. However, it was the perfect size for a party like the one we were indulged in at the moment. We were doing normal teenage things, spin the bottle, smoking, playing loud music, making out with each other, being on our phones, drinking etc. I was totally out of it. I had been drinking since the second I got there. I didn't even remember when I got there but I knew it had been a while ago because it was pitch black outside. My drunken self stumbled to the circle of spin the bottle and grabbed the bottle from the middle. I weakly spun and the empty Aquafina water bottle pointed at Beth Meyers. I knew Beth since kindergarten and we were sort of friends I guess. I never thought about her that way but it was only a game. I practically fell on her, I was in no state to be kissing anyone. She fell onto the garage floor which, thank god, was protected by thick soft carpeting. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I held her waist. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Normally, I was an excellent kisser but apparently I wasn't so hot when I was intoxicated. When I slid off Beth, she wiped her mouth in disappointment and gave me a funny look. I scoffed and walked over to sit next to a boy one year younger than me. I think his name was Joe but I don't remember. He was humming. I saw him countless times in the hallways at school and every time I saw him, he was humming the same song. It was "don't you forget about me" by Simple minds. Great song. Weird kid. He was smoking one of those fancy black cigarettes that all rich kids had. I was anything but rich so I pulled out the normal white cigarette from my pocket. The kid noticed me and offered to light it up for me. I don't know why but I never let anyone light a cigarette for me. I guess it was just a silly superstition but I always followed it. The flame was already going but I wanted to do it so I took it from him. I was just about to light my cigarette but my hand fumbled and the lighter fell onto the ground. I swore lightly but I don't think I really realized how serious it was and I just picked it up. The flame had already spread. It was moving fast on the carpet. People we're screaming and running out. Then, probably the worst fucking time for this to happen, I passed out. Everyone left me in the burning garage. Everyone except for one person; Beth. Beth was yelling and screaming as she dragged me out of the garage. I was sort of awake and I heard her but I couldn't even move. Somehow, she managed to get me out of the garage and through the house before it burst in flames. I blew up Kendra's house. Although Beth got me out of the house, some of my head caught on fire a little and she tried her best to put it out but she was a little drunk herself. I was rushed to the hospital and I guess they did some stuff to me I don't know. The only reason I know all of this is because my little sister Alana sat on my hospital bed with me when I woke up and told me everything that happened after I blacked out. My parents didn't show up. The town was small and word got around quick so I knew that they knew I was here, injured. Alana snuck out every night and slept on the cold hard hospital bed with me. If there was anyone I knew would always be there for me, it'd be her. Everyone always said Alana and I looked alike but I couldn't see it. Obvioulsy i was much better looking than her. Besides making fun of each other, we got along really well. We snuck out together at night sometimes and went to the "big bridge" which was the bridge that went over the highway. It lit up at night. Every night was a different colour. Sometimes it was bright orange or neon blue. My favourite was when it was neon green. It really illuminated everything more than any other colour. We'd sit on the bridge, almost blinded by the exhilarating light. Sometimes we would stay out until it started to get bright out out and the neon light flickered, faded and turned off. Other nights, we spent a couple hours on the bridge then we went to go eat something at the diner. We always ordered the same huge bacon burger and tried to see who would finish first. She always did. Nothing felt better than having someone care for you as much as Alana cared for me. I knew how uncomfortable she must've been on the hospital bed but she snuggled into my chest and fell asleep. She slept like a ball, with her legs pulled into her stomach so I had to put my legs on top of her. I don't remember being in the hospital much just that Alana stayed all the time. Apparently I underwent numerous surgeries for my burn which got me really deep in the skull. It caused permanent damage. So there would always be that burnt crisp of skin on my head. When I got out of the hospital, I found out that not many people got out of the garage in time. I had assumed everyone got out and Beth and I were last but I was wrong. Kendra was caught in the fire trying to save the others. The boy who's lighter was used in starting the fire was also gone. Many other kids I knew were dead and all because of me. The kids who did survive we're infuriated. I could've killed them. They hated me. I knew that. I didn't care. They also wondered why Beth stopped to save my stupid ass. I was also pondering the same thing. That's when I had the biggest fucking brain fart ever. Beth. Where was Beth?