Insecurities [Shota Aizawa x Hizashi Yamada]

Chapter 8

It's been a week since Hizashi last saw Shota, but he still couldn't believe how he could've been so lucky to see him again. However, his hope that he wasn't the most messy person in the world dissipated when he came in to Shota's home.

He never would have guessed Shota was so organized and clean. He would have been amazed if it weren't for the anxiety he felt, being in his house.

Breaking Shota's trust was probably the worst things Hizashi could've done. If he was still his boyfriend, maybe they could have moved in together and Hizashi could have a house like this. Maybe he would be much neater and on top of things. (Probably not—any alternate universe Hizashi would be as loud and messy.) Maybe if Shota stilled trusted and liked him, he would help him stay organized, perhaps scolding him about the problem as well, just like back in high school. Maybe he would—

"Are you just going to stand there?"

Shota's voice brought him back from his fantasy. Yeah, not gonna happen. Hizashi coughed and avoided eye contact with him as he entered, Toshinori following behind him. He stared at the back of Shota's head, his hair up in a messy bun. Hizashi couldn't help but admire how hot he looked in it. He spotted a small scar below Shota's right eye. He hadn't noticed it last time, probably because of  the hair blocking it and his nervousness. He wondered how it got there.

Shota led the two to his kitchen where a laptop was on the table. Suddenly, Hizashi felt something brush against his legs and he let out an embarrassingly loud yelp, jumping away to the side and looking down.

Bright yellowish-green eyes that almost matched his emerald eyes looked back up at him warily.

"This is your cat you told me about?" Hizashi laughed nervously, attempting to regain his dignity. "Cute."

Toshinori chuckled at how jumpy Hizashi was. "Calm down. Neither the cat nor Shota is going to hurt you."

Shota remained silent at that comment, sitting down in front of his laptop.

"So...." Hizashi started, sitting across from him. Toshinori sat down next to him, calm and relaxed. Hizashi wished he had that confidence. "What do you need help with?"

"He needs help boosting his confidence," Toshinori answered for Shota, earning him a glare. "His editor and I have been the only ones reading it."

"I'll just give you a short summary of it," Shota mumbles,"and you can read what I've got afterwards."

Hizashi nodded, determined to not interrupt him.

"Its a fantasy story—"

"Just like the one you wrote in ugh school!" Hizashi blurted out excitedly. He slapped his hand over his mouth when Shota glared at him. "Sorry."

"It takes place in the future where most of the population has a superpower. People are judged based on their power most of the time, whether they have a power or not. The main roles in the society are heroes, villains, vigilantes, and normal civilians who are powerless.

"The main character is a boy who has a 'villainous' power—he can brainwash people—and is judged harshly for it. People think it's a 'villain's power'."

"Do people choose their power?" Hizashi questioned, leaning forward in his chair.

"No, they're born with it. Or not at all."

"Then that's not fair!"

"Exactly. But that's like today's world with racism, sexism, etcetera." Shota listed them off on his fingers. "And generally personality as well. Like how I was judged because I wrote action even though I was a 'shy kid'."

"Please don't bring it up again." Hizashi sighed. "I'm so—"

"The main character's name is Wataru Hatano," Shota continued, ignoring him. "Based off of Hitoshi Shinso from a class."

"He's his favorite," Toshinori told Hizashi. "Entirely different class but still managed to catch his eye."

"I don't have favorites," Shota scoffed. "Hatano tries to become a hero and faces struggles and stuff, and the antagonist is a villain, Yoshino Hiroyuki, who spreads rumors in an attempt to get him to break.

"I'm between having him as a villain that people like and a villain that people absolutely despise. I'm leaning towards the latter."

Hizashi didn't like where this was going.

"But instead of having someone like that woman from Harry Potter, there's going to be a satisfying end and the villain will die or get what they deserve."

"Do you like to kill off characters?" Hizashi asked.

"Eh. If it's necessary to the plot or if they're just a minor character."

"You sure changed it a lot since I last read it," Toshinori commented.

"I'm basing the characters off real people so they're more consistent an easier to write," Shota explained. "And for that I had to change the plot a bit. What do you think?"

"Based off of real people?" Hizashi repeated with a distant voice.

"Mhm." Shota gave him an expectant look.

Oh, boy, Hizashi thought. It wasn't hard to figure out. The person I'm in love with is trying to kill me. What does that say about me?

"If you make him likable it would be difficult to kill him off," Toshinori said, not seeming to recognize the connection.

"That's the point." Shota looked at the two people across him tiredly. He didn't add on any more, instead rubbing his eyes and yawning.

He nudged the laptop towards them hesitantly. Hizashi could see at least 50 pages on the WordDoc that was open.

"Holy hell," Hizashi said. "Send me this?"

"No."

Hizashi looked back up at Shota. "What? Why?"

"I don't trust that you won't share it with others."

"I won't!" Hizashi defended himself, slightly offended that Shota would accuse him of doing such a thing after what happened in high school.

Shota huffed, but still shook his head. "Why do you think I invited you here rather than send you it?"

"I don't know, maybe you wanted to patch up our friendship like I'm trying to do?"

"Yeah, right." Shota nodded towards Toshinori, who sat helpless at the argument starting to emerge in front of him. "Toshinori set this up for us just to get us back together. You probably don't even care about the story."

"What that hell makes you think that?" Hizashi was perplexed at that assumption. Shota reached out to shut the laptop screen down, but Hizashi stopped him, holding it up. "Of course I care! I've always loved your stories!"

Toshinori held up a hand, gently stopping the argument before I got further out of hand. Shota grumbled something under his breath.

"Then shut up and read."

Hizashi was more than confused about Shota's sudden change. Toshinori didn't seem to understand it either, looking between the two as if they knew something he didn't.

Hizashi did shut up, pushing his glasses up and putting his hands on the pad to scroll as he read. He couldn't believe how much Shota had changed.