I'M THE BETA'S MATE (BOY X BOY)

Chapter 4: "Diary"

"So many books, so little time."
- Frank Zappa

Jack Lopez

♥

I stared at the scarlet book I was holding. It had beautiful golden patterns on it and was decorated with little black roses. It was a diary but not just anyone's diary. The owner of this particular diary was Marianne Lopez. My dead mother.
I couldn't open the book though, there was a lock on it. It was too strong and I didn't have a key. I guess I could go to a lock smith, but what will happen when I open the book and read its old dusty pages? Nothing I guessed, it was only my mother. But I could be wrong.
I placed the book carefully on the table wondering what could be written in it. As a little boy I had only seen the book once or twice and my mother always kept it safe in a drawer that had a lock on. It has to be important!
I walked around the room unable to settle down. Who sent the diary? Why now, why not earlier?
All these questions were impossible for me to answer.
I picked up the book again and suddenly a photograph fell down on the floor. I bent down and picked up the photo. I turned it around and saw it was an old grey photo of my parents and myself as a baby. We were in a hospital so it was probably from when I was born. My mother was carrying me in her arms and my father was smiling as he had his arms around my mother. They looked so happy, although my mother looked quite drained. Well, she did just squeeze a baby out of her.
In the corner of the photo was a nurse and a person I couldn't see too clearly. It was a little girl, that was for sure. Her hair was down to her chest, as far as I could see, and it looked as if it was a dark colour but I couldn't see her face. It wasn't visible on the photo. She looked around 5 year old.
I put down the book together with the photo and sat back down.
The tea I had been sipping on earlier had gotten too cold and I chose to just pour it into the sink. I rinsed the cup and placed it into the washing machine which I then turned on.
I felt tired and I knew it was late but I wanted to do some sketches before I went to sleep. I got a pencil and a piece of paper and began my random sketch.
Line after line, stroke after stroke, black on white and soon enough a clear image was shown on the drawing. It was just a simple sketch of diffrent animals, such as, horses, dogs, cats, birds and insects. It wasn't anything special really. My eyelids felt heavy and I really wanted to sleep now. I cleaned my drawings and my equipment from the kitchen table and placed them in their rightful place. I turned off all of the lights and the radio. I walked trough the dark living room and to the stairs that led upstairs. Each step I took was dreadful and tiring but soon enough I was upstairs in my own bedroom. I jumped onto the soft bed. It felt as if I was floating on a very soft cloud and istantly I fell into a comatose state called sleep.
* * * *
I woke up feeling chilly with saliva dripping down my lips and onto my pillow. My blanket was on the floor, as usual, and luckily I was on the bed. Honestly I sleep like a pig sometimes.
My father, Joshua, used to say that. He often told me that I'd wake him up at night with a loud bang, and when he entered my room I had thrown my blanket on the floor while I had rolled off of my bed. He always ended up carrying me in to their room and tucked me inbetween him and my mother.
I dried my mouth and got up, slightly shivering. I tossed my blanket on the bed but I didn't go back to sleep. I put on some loose pants and a t-shirt. I felt slightly warmer. I looked out of the window of the balcony and I could see the moon shining brightly into my room. I walked over to the balcony and opened the door. The night's chilly breezes sent shivers down my spine. I stepped outside and looked up at the starry sky. The stars were many, I knew that, but I couldn't see them all. The white steamy clouds covered most of them but not all. I took a deep breath before sighing.
"What a lovely night." I said to myself before going back in. After closing the door I tucked myself deeply under the covers and let the warmth hug my cold naked body. Well, almost naked. My eyelids closed and shortly after I fell asleep once again.