TANTRIC (Book 3 of the Soundcrush Series)

Chapter 44: Rock Stars Solve Problems With Sledgehammers

Time for everyone's favorite rock star!

Trace

Ash is pacing and raving, and clearly I have to do something about it.

Because she's barefoot, and she's going to get splinters in her feet from this old, weathered deck.

And because if I don't shut her down soon, I'm going to run out of cigarettes.

"...and of course everything with Leed is perfect right now and I've never felt anything like it, but will it last? He always says he can't make promises. Maybe he's right. You know I read somewhere that love only really lasts eighteen months? After that, your brain just gets used to the love neurochemicals and it doesn't feel the same anymore, and all you are left with is your common interests and goals. Do you think that's true?"

"No," I say on exhale, but she doesn't hear me, she just keeps right on talking.

"Because if we don't have common goals...where will we be then? And I can't lie to myself anymore, Trace. I want a family. Not now, of course, but one day. And maybe I shouldn't want that considering I have brain damage—"

"—you don't have brain damage, your brain scans are normal now—"

She's still not listening; she keeps right on, talking over me.

"—and an addiction problem—"

I snort and wave at my house, "—never stopped any other person on the planet from trying to parent—"

"—but I do. I can't pretend I don't want kids just to please Leed, right? I mean, I'll just end up resenting him one day, and feeling like my life is not complete."

"Leed can't know for sure how he'll feel about something like that in a few years. He's just freaked out because he accidentally procreated with Tam, and she's acting crazy all the damn time. Of course he thinks he doesn't want more kids right now. He'll probably come around."

"But you can't know that." She's actually wringing her hands now, but I'm watching her feet. Yep, she's probably got dozens of little splinters already, she's just too agitated to realize it. I've got to put a stop to her pacing. Now.

I light two more cigarettes, block her path, and put one between her frowny lips. She makes a disgusted sound and throws it in another empty planter filled with rainwater. "I can't smoke anymore. I already feel like I'm dying."

I laugh. Just like old times. She's had half a cigarette.

"Look you want my honest to god's advice?"

"Yes."

I take a long draw, just to make sure I have her attention. I blow the smoke to the side while I keep eye contact with her. "If you want to housewife it in the suburbs with a brood of blonde babies, then Cam's the dude for you."

Her eyes narrow. "Uuuuuugggghhhh, why would you even say that, Trace?" She stalks off the deck, and into the backyard just to get away from me, which is exactly what I was hoping for. The bermuda grass is still perfectly manicured and there's not a stick or even a leaf in site, so now I don't have to worry about her feet. She triggers the motion light. I can see her angry posture as stalks off.

"Isn't that what you want?" I yell at her at her back. "Somebody to tell you what's best for you?"

She swings around for a rebuttal, and I quickly cross the deck, blocking her from coming back up the stairs. "Cam is not what's best for me!" she yells in my face. "Leed makes me feel alive and free and good about myself and he doesn't care about my past or my scars and he's the most amazing, creative, inspiring person I've ever met and when I'm with him I feel like...everything is possible. Cam can't even..." she stops and presses her lips together.