All the Broken Pieces

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I was falling, falling down a rabbit hole that I'm unsure I'll be able to crawl out of. I couldn't get the pill bottle open fast enough and my window of opportunity was getting tighter and tighter. I always knew it was going to end this way. Ever since I met Phoenix, I knew I was going to trip up one day and fall into a downward spiral. Which is exactly what happened, but I never expected it to happen so fast. If I had only listened to Amber before the accident, this would all be over and I wouldn't be in this situation right now. I finally get the pill bottle open and pop as many as I can into my mouth. I can feel the hot tears streaming down my face, but it didn't even bother me anymore because I was so used to it. My whole life flashes before my eyes as I begin to realize what I have done and I start to feel dizzy. I remember the day I first held my little brother and then the day I lost him. I have never felt so heartbroken in my entire life, except for maybe this exact moment. I think about my life in school and how I was always ignored and made fun of because I was the weird, nerdy kid. As I was reminiscing, everything was starting to spin. I wonder what everyone will think when they hear what I've done. Will they cry? Or will they laugh and say, "I always knew she was stupid enough to do it?" But as my eyes start to feel heavy, I just whisper silently to myself, "Goodbye everyone. Are you happy now?"