Kidnapped by ONE DIRECTION! (a One Direction fan-fiction)

Chapter Twenty~ I'd Rather Feel Pain-

Louis didn't respond, he merely frowned. I kept my back to the chair behind me. Louis and Harry just stared at me, the entire time, those creepers.

After a few minutes, my head grew dizzy again. It occured to me that the drugd they used on me, might not have fully worn off.

I groaned. Louis gave me a worried look, "You okay?"

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes together. I felt arms grip me, and my eyes flew open. Louis was pulling me back onto his lap, 

I squirmed to try and get away from him, but he only gripped me tighter. 

"What hurts babe?" He asked.

I wanted to retort in some sarcastically comical way, but i could only whimper and manage out, "my head."

He nodded in understanding, what a dick. "Just go back to sleep babe."

I didn't reply, i was exhausted, but i was scared to go to sleep. I wasn't ready to be away from Ammie, i wasn't ready to go back to this whole kidnapping thing. It was awful! 

Now i would be forced to live how they want. To eat when i knew i was too fat to. To stop cutting when i couldn't handle the pain, and now to be helpless as Ammie died without me there to comfort her.

My eyelids betrayed me though and they drooped shut, my body refused to move, my breathing slowed, and i fell asleep right there on Louis' lap.

***

I woke up cuddled in something warm and soft. Blankets were wrapped tightly around my body, encasing me. I sat up, struggling to get out of them. After i managed that, i looked around my surroundings. 

I was in a bus. A freaken tour bus. There were five other bunks around me. The humming of the engine in my ear.

I started panicking. How the hell did i get here? Then the events from yesterday came back. Was it even yesterday though? How many days had i been asleep? 

Looking around, all the other bunks were indeed empty. I pushed myself out of the bunk, thankful that it was on the bottom. 

When i did stand i found my head still dizzy and my steps were wobbly and uncoordinated as i made my way to the door.

 I groaned and then something occured to me. I was in a hoodie and sweats. That was not what i had been wearing when Louis took me. That means someone freaken changed me! Someone was going to die. 

I shakily brought my hand to the doornob and pulled it open. It led to another room. A kitchen off to the side with a booth then a couch and tv area. My gaze fell on the five boys sitting at the booth talking.

Niall spotted me first. When he did so his eye widened and he nudged the other guys to look over.

All of their heads snapped up to look at me in suprise.

I wavered on my feet and Harry rushed over from his seat to steady me.

I roughly pulled out of his grip, almost falling over in the process. "Don't. Touch. Me."

Hurt flashed across his face, but he covered it up quickly.

"How are you feeling?" He asked gently.

"Are you kidding me?" I glared at him.

He sighed, "I meant physically."

He gazed at me with those big green orbs that i could just melt into.

I pulled myself out of my daze and said, "I'm really.. dizzy."

He nodded, wrapped an arm around my waist and guided me over to the booth, pushing me into an empty seat.

I looked down at my lap refusing to meet any of their gazes, especially Louis.

"Alice.." The one and only eventually sighed.

"What?!" I snapped, looking up to send him a cold glare.

He looked at me sadly, "I'm sorry." 

"No you're not! Otherwise you wouldn't have done it! Now Ammie will be alone! Don't you get that?! She needs me! And now im not there! And now sh's going to die without me!" I cried, tears falling down my face.

He opened his mouth to respond, but i beat him to it as i wiped away my tears.

"I am so fucking sick of crying!" I exclaimed, "I hate it! My life is so screwed up!"

He went to respond, but i cut him off again.

"Just dont Louis." 

And with that, i stood from my seat and ran into the bathroom. 

I needed to do something.

I had to.

I couldn't stand this.

This pain.

It was overwhelming. I couldn't handle it.

A glint of silver caught my eye and my attention was turned to the razor sitting there in the shower.

They forgot to hide everything sharp.

A pang of hope hit me, i knew that i could get rid of this feeling. For a moment only if i needed. 

I picked it up and brought it to my wrist. I paused, knowing that this was wrong, but wanting it anyways.

Slowly, i brought the blade across my skin. I sighed in content as the pain faded.

There was banging on the door, "ALICE OPEN UP! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

I gasped and tried to clean everything up in time, but i couldn't.

The door flew open and Harry stood there looking at me in shock.

"W-what are you doing Alice?" He whispered, coming closer.

I backed up, clinging my bloody wrist to my chest.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" He asked me quietly, his eyebrows dipping down in confusion.

"I'd rather feel pain than this." I whispered.

"Please don't do this again." He told me.

"Why shouldn't i?"

"Because..." "Because i care about you Alice."