𝑷𝑨𝑷𝑰 . | BxB

| Ten | In Private

                             | Ten | In Private

I hate thinking "maybe I should show less love"or "Maybe I shouldn't care as much". Any normal person could see the relationship we had wasn't anywhere near that.

But I shouldn't have to think or feel that way.
My heart was made for loving hard and caring even harder.

   Somehow I think this state of mind is my norm now. My generation has made it cool or "cute" to be depressed; how depressing.

    To be whimsically immature and equally hard-headed, Cheers! To the generation of not giving a fuck. God help us all.

Wrapped in a tornado of lust and temptation, I submit to his spell.

Nevertheless, this is what he does to me. Dragging me in the men's restroom to say God knows what he couldn't have through text. I had gotten a pass with no effort though.

   He was leaning on a restroom stall when I found him. My eyes scanning underneath them quickly to see if we were alone.

   His head rose from his phone. Meeting his gaze with my own, a smirk formed across his face, "Damn," he licked his lips, "It take twenty minutes to walk down the hall?"

       "Five actually, took me 15 to decide if I wanted to come" I found a suitable spot to stand,  next to a sink and mirror, "wassup?"

   He sighed, his head tilting side to side as he crossed his arms, "You mad at me, ain't you?"

       I didn't answer him. My looks and stares told more than what words could at that moment. He groaned at my silence, reaching for my hand, he had a loose grip on one of my fingers. I felt him tug. Pulling me into him like a vice.

"You like playing with my mind, don't you?" I question, "Seems like you get a genuine kick out of frustrating the hell out of me." He seemed to almost freeze in motion. Something I couldn't expect coming from him. He sighed releasing me, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I'm still trying to figure out why you're so mad at me.." I could tell he weren't taking me serious. The smirk on his face giving him away.

"You're dodging..."

      "I'm not trying to mess with your head fuckboy!" A laugh escaping him, "Why would I do that? It'd be pointless..." he continued.

    Believing him would only lead to disappointment I feared and one thing I hated was being lied to.

   "Wow.. that's crazy, you're starting to believe your own lies now." 

He looked at me as if he were questioning my seriousness. "Why you keep coming at me like that?"

"I'm not coming at you like anything. I just wanna know what you want. You called me into the bathroom just for shits and giggles?"

      He were silent for a moment. Contemplating his thoughts I could tell, "You just confuse me Chris.."

  "Me. Confuse you?" I rolled my eyes. "How ironic..."

     "So you don't believe me then?" He bounced back and forth off the stall door behind him impatiently.

"I never said I didn't. But since you're so confused about it, how about you let me know when you wanna figure it out Joel."