He was the one who showed me I could somehow be loved
A journey inside the mind of Christian as he navigates his emotional understanding with a boy he likes. Is everything sunshine and rainbows? Or will Christian find out that tough love, is no...
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Christian
How ironic, on a Monday Morning. To be "Brand New" and to act that way. As if your personality were planned with the days of the week.
I never understood it until recently. The arrogance of it all- to be all of a sudden 'brand new' and not acknowledge your past.
Please tell me what it's like, to be able to have this power over me. Where almost my every thought, somehow sneaks it's way into involving you.
And maybe it is too much to expect the sorriest of sorry's that formed from this emotional rollercoaster that I've endured from just thinking about you. Yet, I could already see the shift of energy between us because of what happened on a Friday Night.
You touched me and kissed me in only places of those chosen to do so. Why is it so easy to pretend that I'm nothing to you?
'Everything you experience in your life is to help you grow.' Words from my Grandmother, who set the foundation for my beliefs to stand on, echoed throughout my spirit.
What I had to learn through life has mainly just been from observation. I've learned the act of changing is in itself evolution. Growth. It's human nature to shed the skin of the past and take the next step in morphing into the butterfly of maturity.
If we look at our life like a garden, genuinely every one of our flowers are meant to bloom; and there is absolutely nothing more refreshing than growth. However, that flower that once smelled of companionship, comfort and security, now pushes you away with its new scent: a fresh, twisted fragrance of conceited pettiness.
How quickly people forget, watching your garden wilt while you watered theirs.
Growth is expected change. But to change so suddenly in one weekend, most would not understand.
I didn't understand him. How could it be going so good between us one moment, the chemistry was there and at the drop of a dime, you suddenly have no feelings towards me at all? The talks and the hugs; the kissing? What was it all for ? Only for him to have laughed it off?
Sooner or later, I'll stop smelling your roses. The thorns placed around your garden doesn't become worth the same trouble.
I watched as he smiled and laughed walking past my locker with his friends as I place my things away, not taking one look at me. I rolled my eyes. Having put him off all weekend only felt natural. I didn't feel like the person in the wrong.
The way he treated that- interaction was nothing short of disrespectful and left a sour taste in my mouth.
The warning bell rang moments after my phone began buzzing in my pocket. I shut my locker and pulled it out, deciding to wait before the last warning rung.
