Poems (:

These Addictions / Resentment

I know these things about myself,

I attach onto things that will leave me falling,

I never knew they'd all be taken away,

I find something that makes me happy,

But in the end it never lasts,

You're trying to teach me that You'll suffice,

But I don't see how when everything I love is fading away,

I hurt so much and to replace the pain,

I fill this hole in me with material things,

Things to distract me from life,

I divulge in them until they define me,

And I know it's not right,

So to make You happy I erase them from my life,

But how is that fair?

How am I suppose to be happy if I know that whatever I get attached to won't last?

I don't know what I'm suppose to do anymore?

Everytime I go to You,

You help me for a time,

But then I forget who You are,

And I feel like my existence is nothing but a blade of grass,

So minuscule and worthless,

How is this a life worth living?

Lord, You've got to clear these blurry eyes of mine.

I've been lost for so long,

This year has been one of the worst of my life,

And I don't know how to handle it alone.

You've got to help me,

Do something!

Anything!

I'm begging you to just rescue me from my past.

And this isn't just another poem,

And it's not just empty words,

Is it?

Do You even hear me when I cry anymore?

When I throw my head back and close my eyes tight,

To make all those nightmares fade away,

Do You hear me?

Because I can't hear You over the sound of this deafening silence!

Where were You?

Where are You?

I can't see You,

I can't hear You,

Help me get through this,

I don't know what else to write,

I don't know what else to say,

But help me get through this,

And tell me it'll be okay.