Family Business

B is for bi-

"Red Robin, release your team and family immediately. We are going to have a serious talk about professionalism when you lot get back to the cave."

"Does that include me?"

"Yes, Hood, even you. Especially you."

"Damnit." Jason pouted, crossing his arms over his chest as Tim got off the couch and walked out of the room in the direction of the mission room.

Barbara scooped her phone up and led the procession after Tim, finding him typing away on the computers. Bart glared at her. She glared back. "What?"

"I thought you said the security was designed by Batman for if Batman went 'rogue crazy'?" He huffed.

"It is, but Red Robin is smarter and better than Batman."

"Its true."

Did Batman just admit to a protégé being better than him?

He's not as conc- yeah, yeah he is. But he will admit when something is blatantly obvious.

After a few more moments of typing a loud clank sounded out throughout the mountain, startling those inside. The lockdown protocols began to retract and the zeta tubes came back on line. Everyone stared at Tim with mixed expressions, the Bats looked betrayed while the team looked relieved.

Jason shrugged, heading deeper into the mountain only to return a moment later with his bloody helmet. "Well, this has been real. See y'all on the flip side."

Conner snagged Jason's wrist right before he stepped into the tubes, pulling him off to the side and whispering in a low a voice. "What am I supposed to do with this information now?"

Jason smirked, tapping Conner's nose with the barrel of his gun. "Suffer." He turned with a chuckle and zeta'd away, leaving a dumbfounded Conner behind.

Without thinking, Conner whirled around and blurted out loudly to his teammates the last thing he should've. "The Bats are the Waynes!"

His teammates just blinked before barking out laughs and M'gann just sighed, shaking her head in secondhand embarrassment. "Conner, we've talked about this-"

"They admitted I know and now you are just brushing me off? What the hell?" Conner looked desperate, pleading even. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I went to school with Dick Grayson, there is no way that goody two shoes is a vigilante or his prissy family." Artemis scoffed. "Have you seen how graceless they are?"

"But Red Hood admitted to being Jason!"

"Where is your proof?"

Conner stumbled mentally, realizing there are no cameras in the bedrooms. He mentally cursed out the Wayne family. "Why would they say I know if I don't really know?"

"To throw you off our trail, obviously." Cassandra snickered, patting Conner's cheek. She walked towards the zeta tubes, typing in the coordinates before disappearing.

"Batgirl, I expect the rest of you-"

"Shit, I forgot Batman was still on the phone." Wally jumped out of his skin when Bruce talked, clutching his heart.

Bruce sighed, long and dramatically, before continuing with his statement. "I expect the rest of you to be at the cave in twenty minutes. We have much to discuss. Goodbye."

Click.

Stephanie walked towards the tubes with Damian in tow. "Peace out, my dudes. Cassie, you have my number. Hit me up so we can hang out sometime."

The remaining three Bats faced their team with blank expressions, waiting for someone to say something. When no one spoke for a good two minutes, Dick snapped his fingers and ran out of the mission room, returning a moment later with his and Barbara's costumes, plus the carnage that was their phones.

"Well, I guess this when we all go our separate ways and pretend you didn't meet our siblings or Stephanie, yeah?" Tim faux grinned, flashing the team a thumbs up. "See you when B is done tearing us all a new one?"

Before anyone could reply, the Bats all ran into the tubes and were gone, headed towards the Batcave.

After a moment of silence Artemis cleared her throat and turned to Conner. "We believe you."

"What?! Then why-"

"To throw them off our trail, duh?" Garfield smirked, placing his hands on his hips.

"And so they don't know that we know. They think we don't know and only you know but now they think you doubt you know but really you know and we know but they don't know we know." Wally grinned.

"So, Bruce Wayne is Batman, huh?" Jaime looked around the group as they huddled up. "And Dick Grayson is obviously Nightwing. Jason Todd is Red Hood, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Cassandra Cain Black Bat, Stephanie Brown is Spoiler, Damian Wayne is Robin. So who is Batgirl?"

"Obviously Barbara Gordon, Dick's girlfriend." Artemis rolled her eyes.

"Yikes, what do we do with this information? Do we tell them?" Cassie asked, looking a little concerned.

"No, we toy with them, obviously."

"How so?" Bart, Garfield, and Jaime asked at the same time.

"I don't know yet, but I will think of something."

Conner snapped his fingers, a figurative lightbulb going off over his head. "I've got it!"

"Care to share?"

"We show up to a Wayne Gala! Stage an act of villainy and watch them squirm as they want to jump into action."

"And how do you suggest we stage an act of villainy?" Kaldur sighed, already done with this plan and just wanting to go home.

Conner smirked smugly. "I know a guy who would be willing to help."

- - -

At the Batcave, the Bats were changed into their civvies and showered, waiting for Bruce to show up and tell them what their punishment was. They were currently seeing who could fling the most paper wads into Damian's hair without him noticing.

Cass was winning.

Bruce entered the cave to see his children and their friends on top of the Batcomputer with an enraged Damian standing at the bottom with his katana out. Bruce didn't even want to know what happened, he just whistled and Damian sheathed the katana and the teens jumped down from the computer, keeping their distance from the youngest.

"I am greatly disappointed in all of you-"

"Love you too."

"-so much so, that you are all grounded from patrols-"

"I don't live here, you can't do that!"

"-and are all expected to show up to tomorrow night's event in proper attire while I go out on patrol. Understood?" The Bats all mumbled their agreements, albeit begrudgingly. "Good. I expect you all to be on your best behavior tomorrow night. Do not disappoint me again."

With that, Bruce left the teens in the still pink Batcave and entered the manor with a loud slam.

"That went well." Barbara sighed, slumping in the chair.

"Well, at least he got us new phones right away." Steph shrugged, waving her phone in the air. "Cassie already texted me to see if I was free tomorrow night. Guess I have to cancel right away. Ugh."

Jason's phone beeped with a text from an unknown number and he glanced down, a devilish grin growing on his face.

Maybe this whole gala punishment wouldn't be as miserable as he thought.

Author's Note:

I normally don't do this, but please check out my book Headcannons, especially the latest part. It has important information on possible new stories, so please go check it out and comment on which story seems the most interesting to you!

Thank you!

-Ang