jinkies

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"I can walk into my own fu-"

"Language, Jason."

"-cking house, Bruce. Leave me alone." Jason snarled, whacking Bruce's hand away from him.

The team and the rest of the Bats looked up from their game of Monopoly, shocked to see Jason and Bruce back from the hospital so soon. Especially since Jason just woke up from his coma the same day.

Bruce must've seen the expressions on their faces because he straightened up, clearing his throat. He nodded at Jason with a slight scowl. "He got us kicked out of the hospital for 'unruly and violent behavior'. That is going to be one hell of a headline."

Stephanie snorted. "I can see it now, 'Jason Todd returns from the dead, instantly threatens to rip out throats of hospital staff'."

"It was actually a threat to dismember them and feed their limbs to Titus, but whatever." Jason called from the kitchen, entering the room a moment later with a mouthful of jelly beans. "Who is winning?"

He sat down on top of Tim, stretching across Dick and Damian's laps as well. When his brothers went to push him off, he grinned up at them toothily before reminding them that he was injured. The three brothers exchanged a look before shrugging, shoving him to the floor anyways.

"Assholes."

"Takes one to know one." Tim muttered. "Now, what're you doing here?"

"He's here for appearances. If he were to go to one of his safehouses right now then the press would be in an uproar. 'Bruce Wayne's dead son not welcome home?' A disaster."

"And he compromised, said if I came home I could go patrol." Jason spoke smugly from the floor, having not moved a muscle from when he was pushed there.

"If you don't kill." Bruce glared down at Jason. "Otherwise I keep you in the Batcave."

"Now what would those headlines look like? 'Jason Todd returns from dead only to go missing after being shot by Joker'." Conner gulped when Bruce shot him the famous Batglare. "Sorry, I'll shut up."

"I'm tired of this game." Cassandra stood up, walking out of the room with Stephanie following after her.

"Well, okay then. There goes our sore loser." Artemis muttered under her breath, looking over her shoulder in case Cassandra over heard.

One can never be too careful with the Bats.

Everyone's phones buzzed with a message and they pulled them out, rolling their eyes when they saw what it was and who it was from.

Bats and Bitches

Spoiled: gUyS mOvIe TiMe.

Bruce's Fav: Also, Jason is on the news.

Artemis: What's the headline?

Spoiled: wHo CaReS? MoViE tImE.

Impulsive: What's with your phone?

Bruce's Fav: She dropped it after making the massive group chat. Now it's stuck like that.

Hoodlum: Ha! Serves you right.

SB: But what's the headline?

Spoiled: 'bRuCe WaYnE's DeAd WaRd; ShOt By JoKeR, tHrEaTeNs StAfF wItH bOdIly HaRm, CuRsEs OuT rEpOrTeR'.

Hoodlum: Oh yeah, forgot I did that.

Timbers: Damn Jason, back at it again with the uncalled for violence.

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