Our Band Baby

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

“Why don’t you go and have a drink break.” I suggested to Braison when the contractions had stopped for a bit, the nurse told me that we still had a little bit of time before they would come back, and would be more intense. So this would be the only time he could get a break for ages.

“Okay.” He left me alone with the nurses.

“So, is it what I suspected?” I asked them, and they nodded. My heart sank, I knew exactly what was going on, but I couldn’t tell Lou. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I started crying again, I never was good with keeping control of my emotions.

“How’d you guess?” One of the nurses asked me, I wiped away my tears before answering her.

“It happened to a friend of mine.” I admitted just before Braison came back in, a cup of tea in his hands. He sipped it slowly and made his way back to the seat beside my bed.

“What happened to a friend of yours?” he asked oblivious to the previous conversation.

“Nothing silly we were just having some girl talk.” I smiled sweetly at him, and he smiled back at me, I really was going to kiss him when all this was over, and I was gunna kiss him good.

***

“Poor Tyson.” I sighed, Braison stared at me confused.

“Poor Tyson?” he asked me.

“He was meant to come home to a New Years Eve party not an afternoon in the waiting room of a hospital.”

“He’s probably asleep anyway.” Braison laughed.

“But still, poor Tyson.” If I’m not mistaken I detected a bit of jealousy in his eyes.

“Holey Crap!” I yelped as the sharp pain returned, I looked over at my fiancé who was wincing, he never liked seeing me in pain, just like I never liked seeing him hurt.

The nurse was going on about dilation and all those things I did not want to hear about my body, oh yeah did I mention I hate hospitals? I didn’t want to give birth now, not ever. The look on Braison’s face though, that’s why I went through with all of this. I wanted to see the baby in his arms at least once, I needed to see him with this baby and that’s what got me through all the pain. I didn’t have even one ounce of pain killers in my system which you can imagine is why this hurt like hell.

Braison looked like he was going to puke, and one of the nurses asked him if he needed to leave for a minute, but he shook his head, he didn’t want to leave my side, and I loved him for it. He grabbed my hand in his, so that I could squeeze it, I tried my hardest not to hurt him, but I didn’t have that much control over the matter, the contractions were getting more intense and closer together, I was not ready for this at all, I hated every second of it. I’ve always heard of all these women who didn’t have any pain killers and how much they enjoyed every little pang of pain that went through their bodies during labour, well let me tell you this...they were either lying or completely crackers in the head.

“I want to say I hate you, but I wouldn’t mean it” I told him, as the midwife told me to start pushing. I did not want to start pushing, I wanted to cross my legs and hold the baby inside for as long as possible. I wasn’t ready to face all of this pain and all the pain I was going to suffer after. Braison was telling me how great of a job I was doing, but I didn’t believe him, I hated myself for this, I hated that I was human and that I could feel every little touch of pain. But I believed I deserved this, I believed I was a terrible person who needed to be punished.

I kept pushing, and I did it for Brase, I forgot about my own selfishness, and pushed. he wanted to meet his baby; he needed to meet his baby girl. He didn’t know she was a she yet, but I knew he was going to be so very happy about it.