Beyond the Screams ✔

Chapter Seventeen

I had never liked churches. The suffocating, burning smell of incense seemed to clog up my lungs, the constant asking for things that could never truly be solved, but at least hoping that it will make them feel better. The bells would ring, a loud, resonating sound that you could hear from miles away.

Yet here I was, standing outside the church that Alice, My mother and I had stopped attending years ago. Everyone was inside by now, sitting patiently in the pews, waiting for the ceremony to begin. Family members, the ones that lived so far away that we had never had the time to visit, friends of my mother who she had stayed in wonderful contact with right up to her death. People in the community, ones who knew my mother and would genuinely miss her. Alice, no doubt, would be sitting up in the front row. I was supposed to be sitting up there with her, holding onto her hand in an attempt to make her feel better, but I knew that as soon as I would walk into that church, I would remain in the empty back row, not even daring to go up there.

My dress ended just above my ankle, tied around my waist with a sash. The long sleeves ended at my wrists, the further down the sleeve went, the more billowy the material became. My neckline stopped just underneath my collarbone, showing off the small necklace I had decided to adorn. My hair was normal, small curls not coming past my chin, the stark red colour, however, seemed to ruin the entire effect. To no surprise my dress was black. I wore no colour, except for the silver chain of my necklace.

"Are you ready to go in?" Bryce murmured.

Bryce. 

He was dressed in a crisp, black suit, most likely the same suit that every other male would be wearing. I still wasn't entirely sure why I had asked him to accompany me. Most would think it to be strange to bring a friend to your mother's funeral, no matter how cole the two of you were. Yet as soon as I had gotten off the phone with my Uncle only a few days ago, instead of answering whatever question he had asked me, I just blurted it out. Just simply saying 'Do you think you could come to the funeral with me?'. He hadn't said no, obviously since he was standing here with me now. He had just smiled at me, said that it would be an honour and then asked for the details so he could come to pick me up.

"Well, I can't just stay out here for the entire ceremony," I grumbled,

He looked at me, "No, I suppose you can't. I would assume you already know where you need to sit? I know the front row is reserved for inner circle family, So I might sit a little closer to the back."

I shook my head, "I won't be sitting in the front row." He raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "I know Alice will have a fit but I don't think I can. I already knew that I would be sitting in the very back row of the church before I even got in your car this morning." I admitted.

Before Bryce could say anything else, the loud bells on top of the church rung once more, signalling the beginning of the funeral. I sighed,

"We'll need to head in now, I suppose." I took the few steps forward, this time, Bryce was standing directly next to me instead of lingering behind like I was so used to.

I pushed open the heavy wooden door, thankfully nothing had begun yet. I carefully closed the door to not make too much noise before taking a few steps forward and sitting in the very back pew. The Bishop had made his way to the front, the soft music of the organ filling my ears. I could see the coffin at the front of the room. A gorgeous bouquet of flowers laid on the top, big fat peonies and dainty roses, accompanied by small daises and long trails of leaves.

The bishop began talking. He started with an opening prayer, claiming to be assisting my mother on her decent to heaven. People stood up, made speeches and sat back down, but I couldn't listen properly, couldn't bare to listen to strangers prattle on about how lovely my mother and how she will be sorely missed. When I had been asked if I would do a speech... I don't think I had ever said no quicker. I would never have made a speech. Not even if it would've killed me. The prayers and speeches seemed to blur into each other. I could hear the quiet sniffles, the tear stricken faces of the people in the rows so far away from me. I almost didn't realise the funeral was over, not until Bryce nudged me, saying that people were beginning to leave and asking if I was ok to stand up and join them all outside. I only nodded absentmindedly. I stood up and moved out of the pew into the aisle that ran throughout the length of the church. The door was lodged open, allowing everyone to walk out without the door constantly slamming shut. Only as I looked over the front of the church, did I realise just how many people had come. While it wasn't a small group of people, it certainly wasn't very big. Definitely somewhere in the middle. I knew people wouldn't start to leave until after at least half an hour. So I took a deep breath and began scanning the crowd for Alice. It didn't take long for me to find her. She was standing next to my aunt and uncle, no doubt discussing the details of her moving.