My Missing Mom

Me and Jaei

"Akemi?"

I whipped around to see Jaei leaning over the saddle.

"Why are you crying?"

"What?" I lifted a hand to my face. My fingers came back wet. As I wiped my face off with the sleeve of my mother's jacket, he climbed down beside me. "I didn't realize I was," I said softly. "Sorry."

"Don't be, Akemi." He was gripping that poor bison like she was the only thing keeping him alive. I smiled a tiny bit. "What is it?" He asked.

"I.. I don't know," I lied. "Sorry."

The fifteen-year-old raised his eyebrows. "You're lying."

"How can you tell?"

"Your eyes drifted to the left a tiny bit," he said.

"Did not." I curled up in a little ball, hugging my knees to my chest and allowing my mother's coat to trail out behind me like a cape.

We sat for a moment in quiet before my thoughts caught up with me. I started to cry again, but didn't move or make any noise. I didn't want him to know.

Jaei slowly got used to riding on Pengpeng's head. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw he was looking at me. Slowly, he moved over and wrapped his arms around me.

I stayed still a moment before allowing myself to stick my legs out in front of me and turn my torso so I was hugging him. I buried my face into the spot between his shoulder and neck. My brain allowed me to process the fact that his arms were hugging me real close, and that he smelled like cinnamon and oranges and peppermint and smoke, which sounds weird but smells amazing, before I cried.

I was sobbing onto his shoulder, and he was rubbing small circles onto my back. It was soothing, I felt my eyes drop and stopped crying, instead just hugging him. Eventually, when I was half-asleep, I felt my arms go slack. Jaei must've thought I was asleep, because he kissed the top of my head.

I fell into a dreamless sleep with a smile on my face.