Chapter 6

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*Four months after mom passing away… a.k.a. my 7th birthday… a.k.a. the worst birthday of my life*

It’s been four months that mom’s been gone now. Life is pretty quiet at home.  Dad is always home for dinner, but Jackson and I have a nanny now.  Her name is Kayla.  She has medium length pretty blonde hair and she smiles all the time.  Kayla does an okay job of taking care of us, but mommy would do better. 

Jackson still avoids me for the most part and I never know why.  It makes me really sad.  I wish I knew what was wrong; maybe I could try to help.

Anyways, today is my birthday and Kayla brought me a jewelry making kit.  I love it!  It is so much fun to pick all the pretty colored beads to make bracelets and earrings.  It definitely occupies a lot of my time and keeps me pretty busy.  I even make friendship bracelets for Blake and I.  I tie the blue colored yarn in a fancy knot that I learned how to do from the booklet that came with the kit and I add one special bead to the middle.

I’m not really in the mood for a big party again this year, but Mrs. Todd and daddy insist that it will be a good idea.  So much to my dismay, Blake and I have another joined birthday party, but this time it is at the bounce house by the mall.  All of the other kids have a lot of fun, but I just can’t find much in me to bounce around and have fun without my mom.  I know she would love to be here and watch me, so I try to put on the biggest smile I can for her in heaven.  I’ve gotten really good at that; faking a smile so people think I’m okay.  The only person who doesn’t really believe me when I say I’m fine is Blake.  I think it’s cos he spends so much time with me.  Not even daddy can tell. 

During the part where everybody sings happy birthday to Blake and I, he hugs me tight cos he knows how much this part means to me.  Mommy always usually made my cake special for me and would bring it in with candles all lit and singing to me.  That doesn’t happen this year.  It’s a store bought cake, but personalized for Blake and I, but nobody carries it in singing to me and it’s sad.

As soon as they finish singing, I quickly break free from Blake’s hold and run out of the room before I start crying in front of all my friends.  Daddy follows me out almost as quickly as I run away and catches up to me just as I find a place in the corner by myself to let out my muffled cry. 

“Oh, Mere, what’s wrong sweetie?” he tries to console me.

“Don’t call me Mere!  Only mommy called me Mere” I seethe.

Dad is very taken back by my claim and he fumbles over his next few words.  “I’m so sorry, hun.  Can you tell daddy what’s wrong?”

“Mom’s not here, that’s what’s wrong” I bark again. 

Now he looks like he might cry too.  Before I can see a tear drop from his eye, he envelops me in a tight hug and strokes my hair gently.  “I know, honey.  I know.  And I am very sorry about that. … But you can’t let that stop you from having fun with your friends.  You still have your whole life to go.  You can’t be sad forever.  Mommy loves you very much.  I know it.  And she would not want to see you sad.” 

He’s right.  From this moment on, I make a promise to myself that I will do my best to be as happy as possible… for mom.

Mrs. Todd comes up behind dad and squats down next to us.  She tries to comfort me too and it does help.  I compose myself together and wipe my eyes with the back of my hands.  “Hey I don’t know if this is going to help, I was going to wait to tell you tomorrow, but you and I are gonna have a spa day.  We’re gonna go shopping and get our nails done.  Just you and me.”  She hugs me and I burry my face in her hair. 

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