i had forgotten how much loving you hurt

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is this what love is? desperation tinged with excitement and fear and loss? I don't remember the hurting that I'm feeling, I don't recall the aching I'm holding, I don't know where the crushing weight of loving and losing is coming from. please tell me you love me, please tell me you care, please let me know I'm not bleeding for nothing. because I will bleed out, I will bleed out, I will let my life ebb away if you promise you'll bring me back. I love you. I love you. I love you. please, don't let me be loving a ghost.

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