poetry.

a musing from a damaged mind

It's funny how the mind works. 

The dark things that stalked my dreams when I was younger still haunt the corners of my eyes, waiting for a breach in my sanity to stick their claws in my mind. I don't remember being happy, I don't remember a time when I wasn't fighting for my life. I know they existed, I know I know what happiness tastes like on my skin, but it's gone to the void that consumed my childhood and innocence.

When I think of him, all i remember is the hurtful things I said and did, the wounds I slashed into his heart, and I've forgotten all the times we kissed and laughed and built snowmen in three inches of snow, all the happiness is sucked away by the darkness that tore us apart.

And you. I gloss over all your flaws, I say im not hurt when you say things to me that knock down the last bit of happiness I have. I pretend that you love me the way I love you, and I sometimes actually believe it.

Funny how the nightmares linger just as much as the joyful delusions dancing in my head