Love Torn

4. Gut Feeling

"I was home alone with Keri and she wanted to have the fireplace going in our house. I stocked the wood, placed the matches and then we both watched the fire burn. Soon it got late at night and Keri had to be going to bed; I left the fireplace unattended and brought her to her bedroom. Just in that small amount of time, the wood had adjusted and spilled over; leaving our living room and kitchen in flames when I had gotten back. I ran back to grab Keri and raced outside with her not even caring to attend to the fire. When I dropped her off at her aunts I came back to the house, to notice yours as well burned.” he was going to continue but my nerves got the best of him.

“My sister could have died! Don’t you think about anyone but yourself for once! You are so idiotic not even warning your neighbors about the huge fire about to engulf their home. Don’t you think Athinia and I have had a bad enough life, and now you’ve burned down everything valuable to us. We have nothing now; all thanks to you!” I yell at him even though I don’t feel like myself right now. I shouldn’t be saying this to him; he’s always been an incredibly nice person. I would apologize but something inside of me keeps throwing out horrible complaints and I don’t know how to control it. I’m in the middle of another insult when I feel someone grab my hand and yank me away. I keep yelling though.

“You are the dumbest person alive! I can’t even  beliv-…” and before I can go on Calix throws me inside my room. I groan and then sit down on my bed. I don’t know what had gotten into me. I’m usually very calm and mature about these sorts of accidents; not yelling and being rude about it. I bang my head into the bed and try to get the weird feeling of irritation out but it keeps coming back. It’s like I need to yell at everyone I see just to please myself!

“Why am I so ungodly stupid?” I tell myself out-loud. I want to say sorry to Len but my words come out differently. I sit in the room for about twenty minutes, before Mr. Rateno comes in furious. He slams the door shut and comes over to me. With his fist extended toward my face; I cringe back.

 “You made our family look like fools out there! You aren’t even welcome staying here now if you’re going to be insulting guests who just want to apologize.” he yells at me harshly. I’m still cringed back scared out of my wits. “Tomorrow you leave,” I gasp and then feel like crying. Mr. Rateno has always been a harsh guy; but not this bad. I guess my whole scene with Len was worse than I thought.

“What about Athinia!” I yell back -my gut telling myself to stop.

“She’ll stay with us until she’s better.” his voice is raised far beyond anything I’ve ever heard and it scares me. “Understand?” I shake my head madly but he just leaves; slamming the door hard behind him again. I don’t even get a warning before I start to cry. Tears stream down my cheeks; falling onto the bed in puddles.

I hear the doorknob shake open and soon Calix flies in. I try to suck in the tears but nothing helps. He comes over and sits down on the bed with me. I wipe my eyes and try to look earnest but my emotions are over coming me.

“Don’t cry it’s going to be fine. I just talked to my father and told him you only acted in which you did because of the medicine we gave you. It over rules your emotions and makes you do things in which you usually wouldn’t.”

“Is that why you didn’t want me out of my room; because I would act up?” I ask, tears still forming in my eyes.

“Yeah…” Calix says hesitantly.

“Do I still have to leave tomorrow?” I ask even though the question is well foreseen. Calix looks at me as if I’m the most prestigious person in the whole world and then answers.

“Cattlin you don’t even have to ask to know the answer is; no.” I smile and then hug him tightly. I don’t know if it’s the medicine which is making me tear up, but I’m starting to cry again. But these are good tears; tears which make you know you’re important. We stay in each other’s arms a while and soon my lips start moving and I’m suddenly blurting something out.

“I love you.” my eyes go huge and I realize what I’d just said. I cover my mouth and try to calm down. I don’t know if I love Calix. I mean I like him as a best friend, but I don’t know about love? I know when I was little I was deeply in love with him, but as we became friends it kinda left me; but maybe it’s coming back or maybe it’s the medicine? I release my grip on Calix and look at his face. He looks completely normal; as if I hadn’t just told him I loved him. My hand is still over my mouth so I remove it.

“I don’t know why I just said that!” I say hitting my head against my pillow. I hear the quiet but noticeable Calix, laugh behind me and it makes me giggle as well. When I finish with my pillow I fall back onto the bed and stare up at Calix; his eyes are locked on the other side of the room.

“Do you think it’s the medicine?” he asks looking back at me. I shrug because I don’t know. It may as well be, but now that I’ve said it out loud, it might be really true. “I remember when you had that huge crush on me.” he says grinning. I agile up in bed and look at him. He was my first crush ever but not my last; I’ve had many crushes, but never dated anyone before. I smile and try to remember the good days back when we were kids. We loved to climb trees, have picnics in the meadow, give piggy back rides and see who could carry the other on their back the longest; Calix always wins in that one. I loved it then, it was as if we had no worries and we were free. But now as we’re older freedom costs more and I never seem to notice kids playing around like back then. I come back into reality when Mrs. Rateno comes through the door. Her long pajamas drag against the floor as she walks over to the lamps; turning each one off.

“Time for some shut eye kids.” she says coming over to us both. I try to say something but I’m completely mute.

“Okay,” Calix says quietly. She smiles and then leaves closing the door behind her.

“I don’t want to go to bed; I want to talk with you…” I incite. His lips turn into a smile but he pushes me down anyways. “Ouch!” I say nudging him a little. He smiles and then stands up from the bed. I cover myself with blankets and watch as Calix leaves the room turning off the last light. I lie in bed thinking about everything which had gone on today. It seemed like a very short day; but I did wake up at five in the afternoon… I’m not fast in my dream, yet slow. Slow as a turtle as I try to run away from the deathly wolves behind me. Fatigue soon over comes me and I rest behind a tree. Panting my head off was a bad idea because the pack of wolves soon find me. I cringe back and fall to the ground hard looking all around. Snarling and barking is the only thing which I hear other than my urge to breathe. They don’t sic me right away, but keep circling me until I move again. I scream and cry for help but no one comes. Soon one of the dogs jumps at me and I try to kick them away, but I only get pain in return…