Breathe Again

Chapter 35

Dottie sat on the edge of her bed, holding Elliot to her chest as she burped him after his recent feeding. His cries grew more frantic until a loud belch filled the air. She smiled and kissed his cheek.

Once he settled and his cries lessened to a whimper, she adjusted her nightgown and cradled him in her arms. She gazed down at him and sighed. Mother was right, she should tell Sterling she loved him.

But what if in doing so it became a repeat of what had happened before? She couldn't do it. Not until he admitted his love to her face.

Two weeks had passed since learning of Martin's deception and trickery, and Sterling had said just yesterday they needed to talk. Nevertheless, even after the traumatic events of last night, he still hadn't brought it up again.

Early this morning, while lying in bed after he left, it had come to her attention that last night he'd barely even kissed her—or looked at her for that matter. These were hardly the actions of a man ready to proclaim his love.

"Mama...I-" Dottie snapped her mouth shut and cocked her head. What was that noise? Had Sterling returned?

She glanced at her mother and whispered, "Did you hear that?" Turning toward the quilt door, she moved Elliot to her shoulder and pulled her robe closed over her chest.

Louisa went to the door and moved the quilt aside, then leaned out and spied Sterling at his bed. "Oh good, you're back. Everything went well, I hope. No troubles on the road?"

"No," Sterling shook his head, "no troubles. I know I was gone longer than I said I'd be...I hope I didn't cause you to worry." He bent and retrieved his dirty clothes from last night, "It's begun raining again."

"Are you hungry? I could make you something to eat. I was going to go prepare something for Dottie, now that she's up for the day and feeling better." Louisa walked toward him, wringing her hands and biting back the words Dottie was too afraid to speak.

Sterling held up his dirty clothes, and lied, "I was—uh—going to do some wash."

Standing before him, Louisa took in the tortured light in his eyes and wondered what thoughts tormented him. Had he heard what she and Dottie were talking about just moments ago? "I'll warm up some water for you to use if you'd like." She placed a hand on his arm, "And I'll have breakfast ready in just a little bit."

Sterling glanced toward the quilt door, then back at Louisa, "Thank you."

Louisa gave a small smile and patted his hand. She took several steps away, then turned back, and without warning, wrapped her arms around him.

Sterling froze. He'd never really been one for hugging. He dropped his dirty clothes, and his arms slowly rose to return the embrace.

Louisa tightened her hold on him and whispered, "Thank you for risking your life to save her. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost either one of you last night."

She leaned up on her toes and pressed a maternal kiss to his cheek, then stepped away and hurried to the stairs. "I'll call you when the water's ready for your wash."

Sterling nodded and watched her until she was out of view. Sighing, he turned back to his bed and found Dottie standing in the doorway, holding the quilt aside.

She watched him with guarded eyes as he bent to pick up the soiled clothing he'd dropped. Catching her staring at him, he murmured, "You should be in bed."

"Did you go to the mountains?"

Sterling scowled, but answered, "Yes, I wanted to see the extent of the damage done." He motioned to her side of the loft, "Go get back in bed."

Dottie shook her head and folded her arms over her chest, "What did you see? How bad was it?"

He threw his clothing to the floor and marched over to her. "Go back to your bed and lie down; I don't want to tell you again."

She planted her feet, "Don't order me around, Hawk. I don't need to lie down. I'm feeling much better." She batted his hands away and repeated, "What did you see?"

He picked her up without answering.

She squealed and tried to wriggle free as he carried her through the partition and over to her bed. After depositing her, he pulled her covers up to her neck. She leveled a furious glare at him and waited until he turned to walk away before she threw the covers off and followed him.

Sterling stopped and spun on his heel, not even batting an eyelash at finding her standing near her bed instead of lying down. The quilt swung closed behind him. He blew out a defeated breath and muttered a curse, then turned back around and moved the quilt aside.

He'd never win this battle; he may as well let her have her way just as he should forget about what he overheard a few minutes ago. What did it matter if he'd failed to win her heart? He was leaving.

He clenched his jaw. It did matter because if she admitted she didn't love him, it would mean that for once in his miserable life, he'd done the right thing where she was concerned.

Casting a glance to Elliot, he found him sleeping, so Sterling lowered his voice to a loud whisper, "Were you talking about me?"

Dottie frowned, "What?"

She'd expected him to order her back to bed, but he did not seem to care. She glanced at Elliot, then watched Sterling advance on her like a cat stalking its prey.

Sterling settled his gaze on her, "Just a few minutes ago, you and your mother were talking, and she said, 'you should tell him'...was she referring to me?"

Dottie's eyes widened, and panic twisted her stomach. He'd heard them. What had he heard? Not much if he wasn't sure, they were talking about him in the first place, just enough to make her current predicament uncomfortable.

So why bring it up? Was he trying to catch her off-guard to get her back where he wanted her? She moved away from her bed. Watching him with a suspicious eye, she admitted, "Yes."

Sterling nodded and took three more steps towards her, "And what is it you should tell me?"

Her heart dropped to her toes, and her hands started shaking. She licked her lips and whispered back, "Nothing..." She averted her gaze, afraid he'd see the truth written on her face.

Sterling crossed his arms over his chest, letting out an exasperated breath, "You're lying, Dottie."

She fidgeted with her robe and tightened the belt around her waist even further, then winced and loosened it as casually as she could manage. Squaring her shoulders, Dottie lifted her chin and declared, "I don't have to tell you anything."

"You're acting childish."

Dottie choked back a gasp and advanced on him, hissing, "I'm acting childish?" She poked his chest, "You're the one that just admitted to eavesdropping on a conversation I was having with my mother." Her eyes narrowed as she whispered, "What else did you hear?"

Sterling rubbed the spot she'd poked and asked, "What is it she wants you to tell me?"

Dottie poked him harder, "What're you going to do if I don't tell you?" She quirked a brow at him, "Are you going to pick me up again, just to show you're physically stronger than me?" Poking him again, she goaded, "Are you going to make me tell you?"

"Quit poking me." He took her hand in his to stop her from boring a hole into his chest and threatened, "I won't ask you again."

"Good," She ripped her hand from his grasp and crossed her arms, "because I'm not going to tell you."

Sterling growled and spun on his heel, walking to the door, "You can be so infuriating!"

"I'm not the only one with that skill. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I learned it from you."

Sterling pushed the quilt aside and ran his hands through his hair. He walked to his satchel where he'd thrown it, and stuffed all his clothing—dirty or otherwise—inside.

That finished, he slung it over his shoulder and grabbed his ruined hat before stomping over to the stairs and muttering to himself the whole way. Dagblasted woman! Why did he even bother trying?