Vicious Femmes (a Percy Jackson AU)

She Doesn't Even Go Here!

    I was surprised that Lady Lupa took charge, but King Poseidon seemed only too pleased to let her handle the situation. Lady Lupa stood on the pew and surveyed the crowd of courtiers and their servants. There was a curious expression on her face as she leafed through the Burn Book that Dionysus had handed over to her.
      "Okay, we're going to begin with a short exercise," Lady Lupa said. "I want you all to close your eyes. Now raise your hand if you have ever heard of others talking behind your back. Now open your eyes."
     Everyone was raising their hands.
      "Now close your eyes again," Lady Lupa continued. "Raise your hand of you have ever said or done something nasty behind another person's back. Now open your eyes again."
    Once again, everyone's hands were raised.
     "Alright, you all have said some pretty nasty things to one another," she said. "You women have got to stop calling each other strumpets and harlots because it only makes it so that men think it's alright to call you those names."
      "Can I say something?" Drew asked. "We don't need this confession. We don't have any problems with gossip at this court."
      "Now I want everyone who has felt personally victimized by Drew Tanaka to raise their hand," Lady Lupa said.
     I was surprised to see everyone's hands up, but Drew's. King Poseidon was raising both of his hands. Even Aphrodite had her own hand up.
"Alright, it looks like we have some confessing to do," Lady Lupa said.
***
Lady Lupa's plan was simple: each person would publicly confess to a sin and the crowd would catch them as they fell backwards. It was a trust exercise, she insisted, after Nico said it was a bad idea. I didn't know what to confess, so I waited at the end of the line.
"I want to say sorry to Leo for saying he smells like soot," Calypso said.
She smiled and fell into the crowd which easily caught her and set her down. Leo flashed her a smile. The confessions went smoothly; each person apologized and the crowd caught them.
"I want to apologize to my bro, Percy, for flirting with a women I knew he liked," Jason said.
"I want to apologize to my father for saying he smells like the briny ocean," Percy said.
A woman with curly red hair who I had never seen before went next. I later found out that she was a nun named Rachel. I never found out why she came when she did.
"I wish that we could go back to the time when we were little and all got along," she said. "I wish I could bake a cake filled with love and affection and we could all eat it happily together."
"She doesn't even go here!" Nico shouted.
"Do you even go here?" Lady Lupa asked.
"No, but I have a lot of feelings," the woman said.
"Just go," Lady Lupa said.
"I want to apologize to Nancy for making fun of her for upchucking her breakfast while we stayed at an inn," Silena said, "and I'm sorry for saying this now."
"I want to say sorry that you all are so envious of me," Nancy said. "I can't help that I'm so beautiful and popular."
She fell backwards, but only Silena was there to catch her. The poor girl was unable to support Nancy. Both of them fell to the ground. It was Reyna's turn next.
"Alright, I have a big apology to make," Reyna said. "You know the new girl, Annabeth, well I convinced her that it was a good idea to infiltrate the Poupées. She and I worked together to expose her relationship with Octavian. We worked to sabotage her relationship with the other Poupées. We gave her a cream that made her break out. I'm really sorry, Drew. I guess I did it all because I'm secretly a man and I'm infatuated with you."
She fell backwards and everyone caught her and began to chant her name. I realized Drew was leaving and I ran after her. She tore through the gardens and left the castle grounds with me following her. She only stopped once she crossed a dirt path for carriages.
"I'm sorry!" I said.
Drew turned around and began walking towards me.
"Annabeth Chase," she snarled. "You think you're so great, but do you know what others say about you? They say that you're just a pale imitation of me. You might pretend to be a fine lady, but you're just a country girl, so you can go shove that apology—"
She stopped as a carriage bore down on her. The horses whinnied, but they were going too fast and she was trampled. I stayed by her side until the knights arrived to bear her body and take her to see the court physician.