The host club's cat

Lets start a revolution for fun or something

    Y'know, when I said that my happiness would last for weeks I really didn't count on the myriad of inconveniences; like life, the host club, entitled brats, the goddamned school, life, etc. (also known as end of thinking capacity) to conveniently happen on the exact same day. Don't get me wrong, most of my day went fine—too good to be true even, and I was definitely happy. Until—congratulations, you guessed it, club activities came along.

    I sauntered into music room 3 as usual, greeting Mori-senpai and Kyouya as well as the rest of the club. We started the entertainment as usual. I was moved right next to the door because well, window jumping shenanigans, health and safety—yada, yada, you get the picture. But seriously though, who even cares about health and safety anymore? For gods sake we joke about drinking bleach and snorting tide pods for a living! You still think any of us have a smidgen of self-preservation left?

    I had just finished with my last client. All was good and well until I heard a loud thumping of footsteps from the outside corridor. My first mistake was brushing off my concerns because it probably had nothing to do with me. My second mistake was assuming she was just another over eager fangirl and/or entitled rich brat. In the span of a few seconds, I would soon find out that it was much, much worse. The double doors slammed open.

    Her shrill voice rang out and my ears fuckin' bled.

"KYOUYA MY LOVE!" She ran in and tackled him in a hug, almost toppling him over. I flinched at that.

    She started gushing in a flurry of words about how long she's been waiting to meet him and how she loved him so much. Damn was I confused.

    Then, the cursed words, 'fiance' spilled out of her mouth and I lost it. It felt like a punch to the gut. No. Fucking. Way. There was no way. Nope. Nada. No way. Arranged marriages in 2020? Seriously?

    But then again, rich people logic.

    An icy cold dread coiled around my stomach. Anxiety bursting through the roof right now--someone better call the fire department or something cuz this cat's bout to enter the stratosphere. Tbh, I'm just gonna have to admit that I'm probably jealous or something. A small part of me wishes I was in denial deeper than I could suck a dick but then again,

 it probably won't feel any better. Judging by the rest of the club's reactions, I'm guessing that they weren't in on the tea either. So sadly, no murders tonight.

    Correction--one. One potential murder tonight.

    Tamaki swoops in, trying to diffuse the tension in the room, finally attempting to act like a good club leader for once, but failing due to his poor judgement of the appropriate method, attempting to flirt with her instead; in his hubris, is sent packing to his 'emo corner' as she fuckin Thanos snaps his pride and shitty characterisation into ashes.

    ...fuckin owned.

    Anyways, I'm just here wondering when Renge-chan and I could go and have a little private chat. Oh! Don't get me wrong, I just want to talk. Get to know her better, become closer as friends. I'm sure we'll get along swimmingly--like cats and water.

    [A/N: kuroo. No.]

    Malicious intentions? What ever do you mean by that? Me? Jealous of her??? Preposterous! I will not tolerate this kind of slander! Never! I'm always this kind. I never expected this kind of attitude from anyone much less you.

    ...Ok maybe maybe I can because you're an absolute piece of shit who leaves our lovely readers hanging for—Ugh, I don't know? A year. I sure hope it's not hanging on your conscience or anything.

    [A/N: That's a fucking low blow. I'm the author, I can and I will delete you.]

    So you're pulling the 'I'm the author' card huh? Asshole.

    [A/N: Hypocrite. Go back to the story you regular priced dollar store item, you said I kept the readers waiting now it's your job to continue!]

    What do you mean you're the one writing this shitshow. Stop running coward.

    And by the way, fuck you these eye bags are Gucci.

***

    Anyways apparently we're making a film/series now??? What the fuck???

    I take my eyes off these maniacs for a second and they do this?

    So, Tamaki--that dramatic bitch--gets the "lonely prince" role; self explanatory. twincest got... Well, twincest just with a pinch of sports anime which is basically some extra gay—Twincest by the power of two I guess. I wouldn't say it was shitty in itself but the fact that the sport happened to coincidentally be volleyball, and I  had to waste my precious time coaching them into the role did the job (Kyouya claims it's to save money and time; I claim bullshit, he just wants to see me suffer). Chibi-chan and Mori-senpai got the bully and strong, silent, sidekick role (Kyouya, ily, you're pretty as fuck, but Mori-senpai pls step on me). Kyouya gets to be himself, which is probably the first and last thing Renge-chan and I will ever agree on. The man may be a complete ass but just wait till I get a piece of it.

    For the finale, me, (looking back on how I phrased this, I really do sound like a narcissistic dickhead) the edgy, flighty, asshole and closet psychopath/sadist.

    For real this time, what the fuck.

    I swear someone's been playing yandere simulator or some nsfw fanfic when they came up with this.

    Like, I get that I'm from a whole 'nother social class, and some people are into that shit, but it's not like I want to be considered a whole-ass degenerate??? My questionable choices of exit strategies aside, I do not like to sleeping on trees or the rafters in the clock tower thank you very much. And how, pray tell, has this school not been sued for breaking health and safety regulations yet?

    We start filming in a week and she has professionals coming in to do this. She even hired professionals to write the script that had been pre-written--I swear this girl is a borderline stalker.

    Why am I even surprised?

==========

[A/N]: HI I'M BACK. SORRY Y'ALL/// (I am legit so sorry guys I wish I had the mental capacity to update this more) Anyways just an A/N to say that I don't actually hate Renge; I don't have many opinions of her towards her other than that she can be a little obnoxious at times but otherwise, that's it. I honestly only wrote the chapter this way cuz I just wanted some ✨✨drama✨✨.

Sorry for leaving for so long guys I'll provably update more soon. My sense of humour might be a bit different but hey, I'm back in business baby.

Aight bye, hope y'all enjoyed this shit :p

-Twenty