Sunshine

Chapter 27

Hoseok didn't speak for awhile, as he gently held the pendant around my neck, his lips pressed into a thin line. I hate it when he does this! I can't take it anymore. "Cut it out!" I groan.

"What?" he snapped back.

I whack his hand away. "Looking at me like that— being so quiet," I wave my hands up and down. "All of...this!"

"Why are you like this?" I firmly ask.

He scoffed, "Me?" His voice began to raise. "Well, what about you? Why are you like this?"

"Because I wasn't ready to see you!" That wasnt supposed to come out.

"I wasn't exactly prepared to see you either, now was I?" He spat back, looking down at me with a grim expression, but soon his eyes turn gentle as we gaze at each other for a while. Hoseok brought his hand back to my face— this time he was hesitant as if he was afraid to touch me. He began to lightly caress my cheek, wiping away a tear that managed to escape. I held my breath, completely paralyzed. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Don't you dare say that 'I miss you' crap," I said sharply, before he could even say anything. "Because I have been here this whole time— only one message away— for two years!" He stayed quiet. "The guys wrote to me, and have called multiple times."

His eyebrows furrow and he let out a frustrated sigh, "You're the one who left me," he said coldly. "Remember?"

"You didn't exactly stop me from leaving."

"I didn't know you wanted me to... Tch, you said so yourself, 'you weren't ready to see me,' so why would I?" he retorted. It became quiet between us for a while. Hoseok ran his hand through his hair and sighs. "Look I dont want to fight, okay?"

I walk to the other side of the room, crossing my arms over my chest. I just want to get away. Tears silently fell down my cheeks again. "I miss you, Hobi."

Suddenly, I'm engulfed by warmth as he embraces me with a back hug.

"Do you hate me that much?" He whispered in my ear, but so quietly, I'm not sure if I even heard him right.

I turn around to face him; taken back by his words. "O-of course not. I just— no."

"I could never hate you. I love you."

He releases me. His hands now jammed in his pockets; his expression says that he doesn't believe me. "What happened between us?" Hoseok breathed.

He lets out a humorless chuckle, when I don't answer him, and looks down at his feet. "We used to have fun together," he mumbles, "didn't we?"

I barely nod.

"Can't we go back to the way things were?"

"No." Now I stare down at my feet as I shake my head. "T-things can never be the same."

He suddenly grabs my arm; his other hand holds my trembling chin forcing me to look at him. "And why is that?"

I couldn't find my voice; there was a large lump in my throat. I stay quiet. The grip on my arm tightened. "Why?—" he demanded.

"Because I'm still in love with you, stupid," I cry. Taken back by my words, Hoseok's hands froze and went limp, falling to his side; his mouth slightly hung open.

I let out a ragged breath. "I never stopped, but the public was pissed, along with Bang PD-nim, who can end your career— along with BTS's. And I'm not going to let that happen to you."

I refuse to look at him right now, it's too hard, but I can still feel his eyes on me. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the trembling, while he continued to stare at me. Finally, I meet his eyes, watching me intently, carefully, but I couldn't read him.

"What?" I spoke with a hard tone. But he wouldn't speak. 

"You think this automatically means I want to get back together?" I scoff. "After everything, do you really just expect me to go weak in the knees— that I'll just run into your arms, crying hysterically." My voice began to tremble. "That we can just pick up where we left off— just forget about the world."

Hoseok suddenly pulls me into his arms, "Not exactly," he whispers. "You don't have to cry hysterically—"

"Yes, I do, you jerk," I mumble, and our lips meet.

I instantly close my eyes— letting the tears escape—and wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him back in full response. Sparks fly between us as my mind runs wild along with my heart. Completely flustered my body tenses up as we kiss passionately sending shivers down my spine. I grab fistfuls of his hair, and he places his hand behind my neck holding me there while his other arm wraps around my waist. 

It soon becomes a little heated as he kisses my neck and down to my collarbone. I lightly gasp at the feeling but didn't stop him. His hands went from the sides of my waist to the lower part of my back trying to bring me even closer. I could feel a burning heat on my waist from the warmth of his hands as he plays with the rim of my shirt.

I'm roughly pushed against the wall as he holds my hands above my head, pinning me. He has never been this rough with me before, but I didn't care. I can feel his heart against me as if it could beat out of his own chest. As if our hearts were beating as one. He started to part my mouth urgently, his tongue slid against my lips asking for permission; our hands intertwined with each other as he kisses me harder, deeper. The only thing I felt— that I could focus on—was the warmth of his lips brushing against mine.

Hoseok slowly breaks the kiss and looks at me with his beautiful brown eyes: full of happiness, laughter, and hope. We stay there for a few long moments. Both of us were still breathing heavily.

He releases my hands and gently lifts my chin, kissing my eyelids—one then the other. I stood as still as I could, my breath was shallow; my hands were limp at my sides, as my mind went blank. All I want to do is grab him and pull him towards me again, reigniting the sparks we shared moments ago, as he kissed each cheek, then my chin, my nose, and very slowly he consumes my mouth with his. But this was much different than before, it was sweet and gentle— it was like he was everywhere. My everything.