10 July - 6:22pm
Okay so the date's off because he's busy now on the day we planned.
I was kind of sad, but also pretty relieved because I've got pretty bad social anxiety and the whole concept of dating is like torture to me.
But doesn't mean we can't still talk.
He's not my boyfriend or anything, so there's no expectation, and frankly, commitment is one of the most terrifying things to me.
In the past, I have often freaked out just as things were getting semi-serious with people and pulled away, and I don't know if that's happening again right now, but I'm kind of over analysing everything that he does (or doesn't do).
I think what I really need to do is realise a relationship isn't exactly a priority for me right now, and just let things go naturally (and either we will get closer or grow apart) without putting so much pressure on myself.
And also, I'm in my final year of highschool and already feeling scared that I'm not going to do as well as I always thought I would, so the last thing I need is relationship drama clouding my vision and taking even more time away from my study time (considering I procrastinate like CRAZY).
But anyway, it just goes to show that everything is less fun when you're overthinking and overwhelmed.
Sometimes a step back really helps you get a clearer look at the situation.
Anyway, buona serata i miei bambini xx
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Thoughts of an Awkward Teenage Girl
RandomA book full of mind vomit and incomprehensible rants written when I either: a) Am pretending to be texting my many, MANY non-existant friends b) Am on public transport trying to pretend I'm not sad and lonely c) Am bored out of my mind or d) All...
